makes all the difference.”
He couldn’t help but tilt her chin up to give her a gentle kiss. “You’ve made all the difference.”
Her face softened. “Geo, I—”
Whatever she was about to say was lost when Devon called out, “Hey, Lani, get over here! We have baby shower questions!”
With an apologetic wrinkle of her nose, she squeezed his arm and headed over to the lively group of women. Not far away from them, Rhys leaned against the railing talking to Matt and Shane, who were standing arm in arm, Shane’s hand resting possessively on Matt’s hip.
Something Rhys said made them burst into laughter, and Shane pulled Matt closer and kissed the top of his head.
“That’s some fuckin’ next-level shit.”
Turning, Geo saw Grizz sprawled out with a beer in hand, staring at Matt and Shane. He grunted. “Apparently everything is to you, man. What is it now?”
“That.” Grizz lifted his chin toward the two men, in the next instant letting out a yelp when his wife leaned over and swatted him on the arm.
“Are you serious? Two guys in love and showing affection? That’s surreal to you?”
“What?” An expression of sincere confusion flitted across Grizz’s face. “No! What I mean is, look at him! Knytych’s smiling. Baby, he never smiles, not like that.”
Geo had to agree. “It’s true.”
Indeed, Matt’s happiness radiated from him, the kind of happiness that came from having found his place in the world, and from knowing that he was loved.
“They’re some of my favorite dudes, you know,” Grizz went on indignantly. “I’d never hate on them.”
His wife wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a repentant hug. “I misunderstood. I’m sorry.”
“You should be,” he groused, even as he hugged her back. “They’re my friends, babe.”
Geo left them nuzzling, and wandered closer to the group just as Rhys crouched behind both Lani’s and Devon’s chairs and whispered something that made them both look at Matt.
“You can sing?” he heard Lani say. “Really?”
“Like an angel,” Devon assured her as Matt rolled his eyes.
“Arts and theater, not much else to do at a North Dakota high school,” he said jokingly. “I wanted to stay warm.”
“Except he’s really, really good,” Devon said. “I’m the one who looked like a chump singing karaoke with him.”
“Lani can sing.” Rhys squeezed her shoulder, laughing when she turned to swat at him. “Get her drunk enough and she’ll serenade you.”
Hoots from around the group as she raised her voice to be heard over them. “Whoa, whoa! It’ll be a long time before I’m ever that drunk again.” She pointed to her baby bump. “So don’t hold your breath, people. I don’t sing sober.”
“And I only sing when I’m trying to convince certain clowns I don’t care about the date he’s flaunting in my face,” Matt chimed in, yanking away from Shane in mock disgust. “I never asked, who was that guy anyway?”
“Nobody, my love,” Shane said as he wrapped his arms around Matt’s waist and pulled him back against him. “Absolutely nobody.”
Wistfulness and a feeling of disconnect drove Geo off the deck and out into the shadows of the backyard. After all, he didn’t really belong here. His time in this platoon was only temporary, and it’d be over soon enough.
Then what?
Then he’d focus on his career. He’d make Chief, and move into leadership, where he’d be able to mentor young SEALs. Yeah, it’d certainly be rewarding, to help usher the next generation of young men—and maybe soon young women—into the ranks.
But what about when it was over? When he hit his twenty, twenty-five, maybe thirty-year mark? Eventually he’d have to retire, and what would he have to show for it? A rank on his sleeve, maybe a few medals, a trail of broken relationships scattered in his wake?
He gazed up at the now-neatly trimmed tree in the moonlight, a sudden wave of loneliness, of sadness, crashing over him and nearly driving him to his knees.
What if I’m alone?
As he bent double, struggling for air, footsteps rushed through the grass and then an arm wrapped around his waist, anchoring him. “I’m here. I’m here, Geo.”
At Lani’s whispered words, the last of the walls he’d built around his heart started to crumble into dust.
“God, I just miss him so much,” he gasped. “I’m so fucking angry at him, and I love him, and I hate him.”
“I know,” she crooned, holding him tight. “I know.”
“You had it all, Cade. A family,” he whispered brokenly. “You belonged. You were loved.”
And suddenly, for the first time, Geo caught