head to the back of the couch and blew out a long, slow breath. “I can’t believe I’m talking to another spec ops guy,” she said to her ceiling. “And I really like him. Why can’t he be a lawyer or something? Ugh.”
The ceiling didn’t have an opinion to offer her, so she reached for her mug again. As she did, the journal caught her eye. Pulling it to her, she traced her finger over the drawing on the cover, that of a little boy and girl holding hands, the thought bubble over the girl’s head reading, “You’re the peanut butter to my jelly.”
Peanut butter. Rhys’s Peanut Butter Cup.
“Write it all down.” Maura’s voice echoed in her head. “No matter what it’s about. Put your feelings into words as best you can. Scream, cry, get angry, mourn. No one will ever read it but you.”
Grabbing up the pen, Lani started to write:
Hey, Rhys, I miss you. I miss your smile, your stupid jokes, and that goofy laugh that always made me laugh, too. I miss your friendship. It scares me to think I might not have that anymore. After all, I’ve had it for most of my life, and all my best—and worst—memories have you in them. It’s so fucking hard to think of making memories without you.
I have to try, though. For your sake, and mine, I’m gonna try, and maybe someday we can build a friendship that isn’t based on me needing you anymore. I’ve gotten so used to needing you, Rhys, that I have no sense of my own strength, or who I want to be. Well, except a good mom. Now that I know. It’s a start, isn’t it?
And oh, by the way, I have a date with someone. A nice guy, funny and sweet, and damn if his voice doesn’t make me shiver. Mmm.
It’s really too bad he’s a SEAL.
Chapter Seven
Geo shifted uncomfortably on Lani’s doorstep, his feet hot and sweaty in the unfamiliar loafers.
The khaki pants he wore were rumpled, and his dark blue polo shirt had a musty smell from being crammed at the bottom of his dresser drawer.
Sighing against the butterflies in his stomach, he rapped twice on the door and stood back under the porch light so she could get a good look at him out of the peephole. After a moment came the scratchy sound of the bolt turning, and then the door swung open.
Geo gulped. “Hi.”
“Hey, frogman.” Lani stood framed in the brightly lit entryway, the smile on her face warm and welcoming. “Come on in.”
His heart tripping a mile a minute, Geo stepped inside, an uncharacteristic shyness stealing his tongue.
“Are those for me?” She reached for the bouquet of carnations he clutched, and with a sheepish grin, he passed them over.
“For you, from me and Bosch. He sends his regards, by the way. Said he’d totally be here, but he’d rather have a spa day.”
She giggled. “Bath and toenails?”
“Exactly. They might even throw a massage in there, who knows?”
“Sounds amazing.”
They grinned at each other, and then her gaze drifted over him, all the way down to his shoes. Geo tugged at his shirt collar. “Is this okay? I wasn’t sure what you wanted to do tonight.” He grimaced. “Guess when I texted, I should’ve asked.”
“Well—”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “Did you have something in mind? Tell me.”
“Let me get these in some water and we’ll talk about it.”
Lani’s apartment was small, but homey and comfortably messy. His nervousness evaporated as he took in the mismatched furniture, the hoodie thrown carelessly over the back of a chair. For someone who lived in a barracks room and carried most of his life in a duffel bag, the casual vibe of her home put him completely at ease.
As did Lani herself. Her hair twisted up in a loose bun, she wore a pair of drawstring linen pants and a white tank top, no makeup that he could see. As unobtrusively as possible, he checked out her tummy. Maybe there was the tiniest bit of roundness there, but if he didn’t know she was pregnant, he didn’t think he’d be able to tell just by looking.
In the kitchen, she dug a vase out of a cabinet and started to fill it with water. “I’m not really a wine-and-dine kind of girl, so I thought maybe we could eat here? I love to cook.” She smiled. “But since you’re dressed to go out, I’m totally fine with that, too.”
A great wave