best get screwing then.’
Half an hour later, we were almost done. The main post had toppled over and landed on Adam’s foot. The instruction sheet had blown away and I’d only just managed to catch it before it flew over the fence and was gone forever. Frazzle had come to help and carried one of the Allen keys away in his mouth. And we were almost helpless with laughter.
‘Oh my God, we are so crap at this,’ I said, inspecting a scrape on my knuckle and a corresponding smear of blood on the pale-green wood.
‘Those birds need to get some competent staff.’
‘As opposed to Tweedledum and Tweedledumber here.’
‘What do you suppose we do with that bit?’
‘No idea. Shall we just put the roof on and hope for the best?’
‘Let’s. And then I should probably get to work; I’m already going to be late.’
We finished the assembly as best we could, loaded up the bird feeder with fat balls, peanuts and even a whole sunflower head, then stood back to admire our handiwork, watched by Frazzle and an inquisitive squirrel.
Then Adam said reluctantly that he really needed to go and dashed off through the bar before I could even thank him properly.
All morning, Robbie and I kept sticking our heads out from the kitchen to see if any birds had arrived. We didn’t spot any that day, only the squirrel and a few of his mates, but the next morning there was totally, definitely a blackbird there, feasting away, and soon it was joined by another. I took a photo and sent it to Adam, and he replied with a heart emoji.
Twenty-One
You know what they say about boredom, Aquarius? It only ever affects boring people.
After that, I started having a coffee in the bar each morning, keeping an eye out for Adam on his way to work. A couple of times, in the beginning, I didn’t see him before I had to go into the kitchen to begin my work. But on Friday, after I’d sent another bird pic the previous day, I saw him walking down the road before seven, with his laptop bag and his sunglasses, which I’d noticed were well classy vintage Ray-Bans. In the darkness of the bar, I watched as he paused, stopped, looked up into the tree, then looked at the window where I was sitting.
I raised a hand and waved, and his face broke out into a grin and he hurried to the door.
‘Come in,’ I said. ‘We’re not open yet, obviously, but still.’
I hustled him through the pub, lit only by the early sunshine, and out of the back door, opening it cautiously with a finger to my lips.
Adam nodded and stepped silently outside behind me.
On the bird table were three blackbirds: the mum and two of the coal-feathered youngsters. As we watched, a robin flew down hopefully, but the mum flapped her wings aggressively at it and it departed, looking as pissed off as it’s possible for a common garden bird to look. We could see Frazzle crouched under one of the wooden picnic tables, just as transfixed as we were. On the roof of Archie’s shop next door, a squirrel was hopefully waiting its turn.
‘Like trying to get a table at the Chiltern Firehouse. Apparently it can take months, and that’s just if you’re a celebrity,’ I whispered.
Adam laughed. ‘I’m going there for lunch, actually, with work. It’s not all that. I’d rather have sausages and wedges here.’
‘Wow. That’s quite the work lunch. What is it you do?’
‘Nothing exciting. I just work in cyber security for a hedge fund. But my boss likes splashing the cash on lunches and stuff. He’s really old-school like that.’
If I’d ever thought of what Adam might do for a living – which I hadn’t really – I’d have assumed it was something IT-related. It was all of a piece with the algebra equation T-shirt I’d seen him wear and the laptop bag that seemed to be permanently attached to his shoulder. But I’d never have associated that with something as full-on fabulous as lunch at one of Mayfair’s most exclusive restaurants.
‘Lucky you. You’ll have to tell me all about it. Maybe over a coffee and some bird-watching tomorrow?’
‘Maybe,’ Adam said, but his face had kind of closed up. ‘I’d best be on my way. Thanks for showing me the birds.’
‘Thanks for bringing the bird table,’ I said, but I had to say it to his departing back, because he’d already hurried off back into the