her, and I shouldn’t have accused her of sending me the messages. I had no right to force you to keep us a secret from your best friend.
PatheticMamasBoy: I don’t know what to do, Dre. Mindy thinks the only thing I can do is come out to my parents, but I’m afraid. You were right about my mother. I want to believe she’s a good person at heart, but I’m not sure she’s capable of accepting this part of me. At least not right now. Possibly not ever.
PatheticMamasBoy: The only thing that scares me more than being rejected by my mother is never seeing you again.
PatheticMamasBoy: I’m sorry. I am sorry that I broke up with you. I am sorry that I accused you of being the reason someone knows about us. I am sorry for being a spineless jellyfish and not being able to own up to who I am.
PatheticMamasBoy: I am sorry.
PatheticMamasBoy: I care deeply for you. More deeply than anyone other than my family. I thought I was confident in who I was, but you showed me what real confidence looks like. Even if you never speak to me again, you’ve left a mark on my soul that I am grateful for.
PatheticMamasBoy: Thank you for letting me get to know you and for helping me to know myself. You are a very special person, Andre Rosario.
PatheticMamasBoy: I suppose that’s all I have to say.
PatheticMamasBoy: If you ever want to talk, this is my username.
PatheticMamasBoy: Okay, then.
PatheticMamasBoy: Bye.
PatheticMamasBoy: Dre? Are you there?
Dean
I WAS PRETTY certain I was going to vomit.
My mother was packing her suitcase, expecting she wouldn’t be returning home until after the final debate. My father was sitting in a chair in the corner reading to her from the New York Times. From where I was standing in the hallway, I actually felt bad for what I was about to do. I was going to add a complication to their lives that they did not need at the moment. But the truth is rarely convenient, and even when telling it is the right thing to do, it still sometimes hurts.
A wave of nausea hit me, and it was so strong that I turned to run to the bathroom, but it passed. The nausea was my fear talking, and I’d let it have its say for long enough.
“Mom,” I said, walking into their bedroom. “Dad.”
My father looked up from the paper. “Hey, Dean. I thought you were working out with Tamal.”
“I was,” I said. “I did. Now I’m back.”
“Good,” my mother said. “We need to go over your schedule. I’d like to have you with me—”
“Can we . . . there’s something I need to talk to you both about.” My voice was shaky. I hadn’t been this afraid to tell my parents something since fifth grade, when I had nearly failed three classes. That’s when I was diagnosed with ADD, but at the time I just thought I was a failure. I hadn’t failed them then any more than I was failing them now by coming out, but that didn’t eliminate my fear.
My mother stopped sorting which clothes to put in her suitcase and my father set down his paper. They both gave me their full attention. “Well, Dean?” my mother said. “Spit it out. I do have a plane to catch.”
I wished Dre were by my side for this, but he hadn’t responded to any of my messages on Promethean, and I wasn’t sure if he had gotten or read them. I had even sent a message to Dre’s actual phone number to warn him of what I was about to do. He hadn’t responded to that message either, making it clear he didn’t want to speak to me. It was probably better this way. I needed to face my parents on my own. I needed to know that I could.
“I kissed Dre Rosario,” I said, spitting it out without preamble. “We were dating. It began during the security scare at the first debate, and we’ve been seeing each other since.”
I had spent all night trying to devise the best way to come out to my parents. I was going to have to explain asexuality and demisexuality to them, and I was going to have to try to explain that I didn’t think I was gay but that most of the people I had