you might study?” Patrick asked.
“He’s a born politician,” Nora said.
“That he is,” added my mother. “Just this week he’s been invaluable. He’s got a real way with people.”
“And you should see him debate.”
I nodded along, slowly chewing asparagus. It’s not as if anyone actually needed me to speak to be part of the conversation. My mother and Nora were doing just fine on my behalf.
“Before I forget, Dean,” my mother said. “I need you to try on your tux after dinner.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I said. “But why?”
My mother and father shared a smile. “I thought you might like to join us at the ball Friday evening.”
The ball was a fundraiser for the most important contributors to my mother’s campaign. There had been no reason to assume she would want me mingling with the CEOs and conservative celebrities that had donated money to help get her elected.
“Really?” I asked. “You want me there?”
My mother nodded. “I thought you could invite Mindy.”
“Though you don’t have to,” my father quickly added.
“Of course not. If there’s another young woman you’d liked to bring who has an appropriate dress and knows how to behave, you are more than welcome to bring her.”
Nora cleared her throat. “If your tux needs alterations, just let me know and I’ll make sure it gets done.”
“Thank you,” I said. “And I don’t mind taking Mindy.” Which was true. I didn’t have to worry that she was going to develop feelings for me that I didn’t reciprocate, and if the press thought there was more between Mindy and me than there actually was, at least it was a rumor that wouldn’t damage my mother’s chances of winning the election.
“You’ve been working so hard, and I want you to know how much I appreciate it,” my mother said. “You’re a good boy, Dean.”
I should have been overjoyed that my mother wanted me at the fundraiser. I should have been honored that she thought I was responsible enough to spend time around her wealthy and famous adult friends. My mother’s approval meant more to me than I wanted to admit. At least, it used to. I didn’t know what it meant to me anymore.
And my dinner still tasted like ash.
“I’ve actually been thinking about studying education,” I said. “So that I could teach.”
I don’t know who had been speaking or what they had been talking about, but the conversation around the table died.
“What was that, Dean?” Patrick asked.
At that moment, I could have apologized and told them it was nothing. I could have excused myself from the dinner table and gone to the bathroom to collect myself. I could have even said I’d been joking. Maybe I should have done any one of those things. But I didn’t.
“I’ve been thinking I might become a teacher. Political science, maybe. Or philosophy.”
Patrick was the only person at the dinner table who didn’t seem a little shocked by my admission. “Would you teach college?”
“High school, I think.”
“Good for you,” Patrick said, and he seemed to genuinely mean it.
“An undergraduate degree in political science will still get you into law school,” my mother said.
“And if I don’t want to go to law school? If I want to get master’s and doctorate degrees in philosophy?”
“I don’t see how—”
“I’m not you, Mom.”
My dad coughed. “Who’s ready for dessert? I made tiramisu.”
“No,” my mother said. “If you were me, you’d be enlisting right after high school so that you could pay for college. You’d be fighting for any opportunity to provide a better life for you and your family. You’d appreciate all of the advantages you have that I did not. No, you are most certainly not me.”
“Your mother and I only want what’s best for you, Dean.”
“What about what I want?”
Nora turned to Patrick and motioned that they should give my parents and me space, but my mother said, “No, stay. This conversation is over.”
“I’m not saying I will definitely become a teacher,” I said. “But I would like to know that I have the option.” I wanted to know that I could be someone other than who my mother wanted me to be and that she’d still love and support me. I needed to know.
“I have no idea what’s gotten into you, Dean, but this is neither the time nor the place for this.” She dabbed at her mouth with her napkin and set it on the table. “Now, you are excused from dinner, and I certainly hope you will be better behaved Friday evening.”
I scooted my chair back