being kind. You don’t deserve any of this. You deserve so much better.
He was right. Despite my horrible actions and choices, I deserved something healthy and wholesome. And I would never, ever make the mistake of walking into something toxic and wrong again. The night I’d met Shawn, my intuition had told me to run and not look back. I made a mistake by trusting him, and we were all hurt because of it. Now it was time to learn from it and move on. I would never again ignore my instincts.
I steeled myself and typed. You deserve something good too, Shawn. Even if you are a fucking asshole with no balls.
Ouch. I deserve that. But I still think you’re a good piece of gear, Harlow Robinson.
A sob choked me as I stared at our message thread feeling a torrent of emotions. In the end, I felt only pity for him in his situation, and relief that I had dodged that bullet. I sent Shawn Fowler a green heart, and then I blocked him.
I was an absolute hero to my roommates when I walked in the next day with boxes of eclairs and macarons. They converged, and I proudly watched them enjoy the goodies as much as I had.
“I want to hear everything!” Rhea said.
“Wait,” Holly told her. “First, she needs to see the bathroom.”
The girls cheered and ran to the bathroom to watch my expression. The floor was newly tiled and looked like a completely different space. I gasped.
“Our landlord finally came through?” I asked.
Holly shook her head. “Silas.”
My heart legit shimmied. I couldn’t even respond, which made everyone laugh.
“Right?” Willa asked. “And we tried to pay him but he was like, ‘No. Give me your landlord’s information so I can bill him.’ And we were like, ‘What if he refuses?’ and Silas was all, ‘Don’t worry. He won’t.’ Can you believe that?”
“Wow,” I said. “How is he?”
They all looked around and shrugged.
Holly said, “He seems okay. He hasn’t said anything to anyone about Jacquie or what’s going on with them. Nobody knows.”
I nodded, trying not to feel sad. I was one hundred percent sure they were back together. If I’d been in a different place—if stupid Shawn hadn’t been in the picture—perhaps Silas wouldn’t have gone back to her. Regret was a useless emotion, but I felt it nonetheless.
Rhea grabbed my hand. “Now, tell us everything!”
Two days after I returned, I was back at work, sitting in the crew room with Holly when Silas walked in, full uniform looking crisp, pilot hat under his arm. My pulse went crazy and I had to tell myself to calm the eff down. He caught sight of us and halted one moment as if dealing with indecision, and then came toward us. He sat in the recliner beside me and I held my breath for a second as the scent of him hit me. My eyes fluttered and I blinked away the sensation.
Leaning forward, he looked past me and said, “Holly.” Then at me. “Harlow.”
I had to lean closer to Holly to get out of his cloud of pheromones because my head was spinning.
“Hi,” we both said. My eyes skittered to his hand. No wedding ring. My pulse faltered before sprinting again.
“The, uh, bathroom floor looks amazing,” I said.
A small smile graced his lips. “I’m glad you think so. Reimbursement is on its way.”
“No way!” Holly exclaimed. She and I shared a laugh of shock.
“How was Paris?” he asked me.
A moment of magical peace blanketed me, and I smiled. “It was amazing.”
His eyes roamed my face, taking me in before he grinned. “Good. I went one time, for two nights when I was in the Air Force. We were doing a stint outside of London and had two days of leave. We were only twenty. I barely remember Paris because we drank so much.” He shook his head, but the slight grin stayed in place.
I tried to imagine Silas drunk out of his mind but couldn’t.
“I don’t think I knew you were in the Air Force,” Holly said. I did know that—he’d mentioned it in passing to me—but I’d never heard any stories about it.
“Yep,” he said. “I did four years then met Jacquie. She talked me into getting out. She wanted me to go into restaurant ownership with her dad. By that point I had a taste for flying, though, so there was no way. Maybe she’ll have better luck getting her next man to do what she wants.”
Oh. OH.