need to finish.”
“That’s what I’m talking about!” Rhea stuck out a fist and Cheryl bumped it with a smile.
“No,” I said. “It was a one-time thing. A huge mistake.”
“Girl,” Willa said again. How could she convey so much with one word??
I groaned. “But we’re both just heartbroken right now.”
“And have you thought of Shawn today?” Holly asked.
Come to think of it… “I mean, not since it happened.”
“Exactly,” she said. “Best mistake ever.”
I sighed and sat back.
“Whatever guilt you’re experiencing about it,” Cheryl said, “you can let that go. It’s not necessary. You didn’t take advantage of Silas, nor did he take advantage of you. Just two adults with a mutual attraction finally finding themselves available to act on it. And as for Shawn, you can let go of that guilt too. I can promise, if it hadn’t been you it would have been some other woman.” It hadn’t been another woman, though. It had been me.
“Can you tell us what happened with him now?” Rhea asked.
I nodded, taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. Then I told them our entire conversation from last night. I put my face in my hands. “I fell in love with him. I really thought he was the one. We were making plans together.”
A couple of the girls made sympathetic noises and I felt someone rub my shoulder. I looked up and gave my cheeks sharp pats, sniffing. “I don’t understand how his fiancé was done with him and didn’t want to go, and then she finds out about me and suddenly wants to run to get married and move. If I found out my man was seeing someone else I would have the opposite reaction.”
“Every woman is different,” Cheryl said. “You motivated her. Some women thrive on competition, or possibly on controlling their mate. Regardless of her reason, he’s willing to live with it and that’s on him.”
“I don’t think he necessarily chose her,” Holly said. “I think he chose the path that would give him his son.”
“I’m not gonna lie,” Willa said. “I was worried this would happen from the start. I hoped it wouldn’t but that’s how it goes sometimes. On the flipside, you don’t need to feel bad about what happened with Silas. And if it were to happen again…” She brought out her hands and shrugged her shoulder. I threw my head back with a groan.
“I can’t, guys,” I said. “I’ll just end up hurt again when Silas goes back to her. I don’t think I can handle being hurt by Silas or losing him.”
They all nodded, and I was glad nobody tried to say, “He won’t hurt you!” because I never thought Shawn would hurt me either.
“You know what we should do today?” Holly asked. “Day drinking!”
“It’s only ten AM,” Cheryl said.
Rhea patted her shoulder. “That’s why it’s called day drinking. I’m in!”
“Definitely,” I said.
When everyone had agreed except Cheryl, we all stared at her until she relented. “Okay, fine!”
We all cheered and started bustling around but went still when we heard a key in the door and footsteps coming into the apartment.
“Hello?” Holly called out.
Beth came walking in looking a little tired in her uniform. Our eyes met for a split second and then she scanned the room, her shoulders back. She sniffed. “Are you all drinking already?”
“Yes,” Holly said carefully.
Beth eyed everyone, one by one, except me. “Good. Pour me one.” She walked out of the room to go change and the girls looked at me.
“It’s fine,” I whispered. “I’ll talk to her.” But I felt tense and knotted up. And one thing was for certain—I was not telling her about Silas. I gave her a minute to start changing and went to find her.
She had on jeans now and was pulling a soft cream sweater over her head.
“Hey, Beth, can we talk?”
She completely ignored me and began walking to the kitchen. I internally groaned, following her.
“Beth?” I said to her back as we passed the bathroom.
In the kitchen, she took her drink from Holly and downed half of it.
“I’m sorry, Beth,” I said in front of everyone. My heartrate ratcheted up as I waited for her to shout at me. “I shouldn’t have assumed you were hooking up with Silas. And I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I feel really bad. I mean it.”
Everyone had stopped what they were doing and were watching. I opened and closed my hands at my sides.
Finally, Beth looked at me and I held my breath.
“For the record,”