which turned to a cough. “I wish. Have fun, doll. I’ve got you in the system.”
“Thank you so much!”
I hung up and nodded at Holly, who squealed. A bloom of excitement stretched open inside of me, its sweet fragrance filling me with hope. This was what I needed. To be far, far away from Shawn when he was getting married. To distance myself from Silas, whose wife was fighting to get him back, and whose friendship I might have ruined. To focus on what I wanted from life and prove that I could take care of myself. I could rely on myself. Yes, a partner would be nice, but I didn’t need anyone. At least, I hoped I didn’t.
If seats were open in first class or business, airline employees were often bumped up free of charge. I knew that, but I still felt like a kid at Disney when my name was called and they changed my seat to business class. It felt like a dream taking my huge seat. I peered around the cabin area with a goofy expression that I couldn’t get rid of, while everyone else settled in as if it were no big deal.
Yeah, I was an imposter in business class. But I still asked for hot tea, added plenty of sugar, and then stuck my pinky out when I took a sip. Hey, that would make a great first selfie of my trip! I posed with my tea, snapping several to capture that perfectly fancy feeling, and then caught sight of an older man in a suit glaring at me. I put my phone away and slunk down in my oversized seat, sipping my tea out of his sight and trying not to giggle.
I couldn’t wait to show that picture to Shawn and tell him—wait. That wasn’t going to happen. I shut my eyes, realizing I’d done it again. It was so hard to change my frame of mind. And when I pushed my thoughts away from Shawn they went to Silas, who had surely taken those three days off to enjoy Jacquie’s “company.”
Ugh. Tea was not going to cut it. I needed something stronger.
I managed to get three and a half hours of sleep on the plane. I’d been too excited, and it took me forever to fall asleep, despite my comfy arrangements. When we landed my head felt bleary and sudden anxiety kicked in. I was in a foreign country by myself.
Ordinary little things suddenly felt huge and stressful. Getting money changed over. Connecting to the Wi-Fi to contact my parents and friends. Using Ride Share to find a taxi. And all the while trying to remember to say “hello” and “thank you” in French, not English. I realized once I was finally in the cab and my heartrate was allowed to slow, that I had no faith in myself. I’d pretty much always let other people take control on my behalf. No wonder my parents had been terrified when I moved to Jersey. They didn’t know how I’d be able to fend for myself.
My thoughts settled when we got into the city proper and I stared out. The magnitude of what I was doing overcame me. I was here solely for myself. I was going to make a concerted effort each day not to think of the S-men, or any man for that matter. Time to focus on me and distance myself from all of the drama that had plagued me—drama I’d caused.
The tall buildings and massive hotels with people bustling past gave me that New York City vibe, but then there were adorable corner restaurants with outdoor seating and ruffled overhangs. Potted plants lined the areas. Small alleyways with cramped old-world style rowhomes and cobbled stones changed that city vibe, adding the charm of history and culture.
By the time the cab pulled up at the hotel down a narrow street I was completely enamored. A middle-aged man in a nice suit was waiting with a smile, holding open the door for me.
“Miss Robinson?” he said in his beautiful accent.
“Oui,” I responded, making him smile even bigger. “Bonjour.”
“Welcome.”
The first thing I noticed was how small the space was. Walking into an American hotel was always a spacious experience. In this hotel, everything was a tight squeeze, yet managed not to feel cramped because of the high ceilings. The waiting area was two maroon loveseats facing one another with a massive wooden coffee table between them. Along the walls were stands with ornate