the window with my eyes closed. Things were spinning a little. I cracked my eyes to see Holly pull an airplane puke bag from her clutch. Silas took it and sat beside me. Without thinking, I hugged his arm and curled up against him, pulling my legs up. I ran my nose up his arm, sniffing deeply and letting out a kitty cat moan. Somewhere far away I heard my friends giggle.
Silas turned his head just enough to lower his eyes and look at me. “You okay down there?”
“You shmell yummy. I mean shmell.” I separated my lips from my teeth to force the sounds out. “Sss-mmm-ellll.”
“Okay.” He patted my hand.
“My friend,” I whispered. “My shuper sexy shamazing friend wif perfect penis.”
His throat cleared, and my friends’ titters got louder. Willa was practically falling over as she held onto the pole. I wondered what they were laughing at.
“I know lotsa words for penis,” I said.
Silas cleared his throat. “You’re a woman of many talents.”
My friends died. Like legit falling over, unable to breathe.
“Wassafuck’nfunnay,” I asked.
Those bishes were telling jokes without me. Silas reached his hand over and pulled my head to his arm, making a “shhh” sound. I let myself rest against him. But uuugh, his arm was so muscular and smelled like my whole night time snacky.
“I wannna fuck thish arm.” I rubbed my torso against it, knowing I was hot shit right then.
I felt Silas’s body lightly bounce as he chuckled. Somewhere far away Willa was gasping and saying, “I can’t! I can’t!”
“I funny,” I said.
“Yes, you are.” Silas stroked my cheek.
That’s all I remember. Happy birthday to me.
My mouth tasted like cold, dry death. I blinked against the dim, fall sunlight and when I rolled over my stomach continued to roll as a sharp pain blasted my head.
The events of last night slowly came back to me, although the subway trip home was a blur, and I don’t remember getting to our stop. Did my friends have to carry me? Had I puked in a cab? Oh, lordy, I hoped not.
I trudged my way out to the living room where Willa, Holly, and Beth sat drinking their coffee. I guessed everyone else had gone to work.
“There she is,” Beth teased. “Want some coffee?”
“No, definitely not.” I could never drink coffee when I was hungover. “But I would kill for some fries and a coke.” Fuzzy pieces of last night started to clarify and I remembered holding Silas’s arm on the subway. I frowned, trying to piece everything together.
“You remember trying to fight us last night?” Willa asked, amusement in her voice.
The blood drained from my face. I’d been known to get ugly on nights when I drank enough to black out. “Oh, no. I’m so sorry. I hardly remember what happened after we got on the metro.”
Willa chuckled. “You got mad ‘cause we were all laughing and you said we were leaving you out and having inside jokes without you.”
Holly sat up and slurred, “Yer all a bunsh of bishes!”
“No!” I covered my face. “Oh, my gosh, I’m so sorry!”
“Funny thing is,” Beth said, “we were laughing at you.”
“You were hilarious,” Holly assured me.
I shook my head as they all giggled. I was glad they didn’t seem mad at me, but I hated when I couldn’t remember.
“I don’t even want to know what I did,” I said. “I’m really sorry, you guys.”
Beth leaned forward. “You told Silas he has a perfect penis. Although, I hadn’t heard about you seeing his penis in the first place. You’ve been holding out on me.”
I covered my mouth and whispered through my fingers, horrified. “I did not.” I looked at Holly who gave me an apologetic shrug.
Then at Willa, who pursed out her lips and nodded, saying, “You also told him you wanted to fuck his arm because apparently it smelled real good.”
They all giggled and I jumped to my feet, my head getting light. I grabbed my forehead. “Stop it, y’all. This isn’t funny.” They giggled harder.
“It’s okay,” Holly said, grabbing my arm and pulling me back down beside her. “He thought it was cute.”
“That is so not cute!” I was freaking out. “He just finally started acting normal towards me again and now I probably ruined it for good.”
“Okay,” Beth said. “So, the part about his dick is true then? How did I not know this?”
I leveled her with a glare and she blinked in surprise, feigning innocence about why I might keep her, the queen of gossip, in