said. “It just feels like everything is going on without me. Like I took a break, but no one else did and now if I stay here I’ll just fall further behind. Does that make sense?”
“Not really,” Fran said.
“Oh.”
“But I mean, I get it. You’re not happy here.”
“I’m not unhappy.”
“There’s not that much room in between, you know.”
“I guess that’s true.”
“It’s probably a good idea.” Fran picked up her hair again and started twirling it.
“I just wanted to tell you. Because I don’t know what we’re doing, exactly, but I’ve liked it. I really have. You were one of the only good things here.”
“That’s nice,” Fran said.
“I mean it.” Claire sat all the way up and moved her hair away from his hands. “I might have been unhappy, that’s true. But I wasn’t unhappy when I was with you.” She got a feeling that she was going to start crying, so she looked at the far wall until it started to go away.
Fran pulled her back down and kissed the top of her head. “Look,” he said. “We had fun, right? It’s okay, I swear. We’re good, I promise.”
“Okay.”
“Claire, really. We’re good. Both of us. We needed time to get over those fuckers, and we did. And you can’t feel bad about that.”
“I don’t.”
“You’re such a liar. I mean it. Stop feeling bad. You feel guilty all the time, about everything. And you shouldn’t.”
Claire didn’t say anything. She was impressed that he had been so observant. It didn’t seem like he noticed. “You should move out too,” she said.
Fran laughed. “You mean to tell me a thirty-year-old living in his parents’ basement isn’t that attractive? Point taken.”
“I didn’t mean that.”
“Nah, you’re right. It’s time. Soon.”
“I like this basement,” Claire said. She felt even worse now for saying that to him.
“It’s all right,” he said. “I bet you’ll be happy to get back to New York. I have to say, I never really got it. I could never live there.”
“You could visit,” Claire said.
“Yeah, maybe I’ll come see the elephants when they come to town,” Fran said. Claire didn’t even remember telling him that story, but she must have. Had she left Doug out of the story when she told him or not? She couldn’t remember.
“You should,” she said. “It really is something to see.”
“Okay,” Fran said. “Maybe we’ll do that. Maybe I’ll come and we’ll see the elephants.”
They were both lying. They knew he’d never come to visit her in New York, that he would never see the elephants. But just then, she really wished he would, so he could see how weird, how unreal, the whole thing looked; how magical it was to watch these huge animals marching down the streets of Manhattan. Just thinking about it now made her homesick and a little sad. The way it felt like a dream, how even after you saw it with your own eyes, you never really believed it had happened.
CHAPTER 20
The wedding was ridiculous. All of it. Max had insisted that it take place in the backyard, and at first Weezy tried to get him to change his mind. But now she was glad that they were at home, and not out in public for the world to see. The bride was walking down the “aisle” eight months pregnant, in a flowy white dress that showed off the bump underneath it, like she was a movie star, some starlet that was flaunting the fact that she was getting married in this condition. Look at me, the dress seemed to say. I’m pregnant and I don’t care who knows it.
Weezy tried to be open-minded. After all, her children were living in a different world than the one she’d grown up in. But honestly. A white dress? Really? Why even bother?
She’d suggested to Max early on that he and Cleo should think about getting married. She waited for him to disagree, or to tell her that it was none of her business, but he surprised her.
“I think that’s a good idea,” he said. “I think it’s something we both want.”
Even though Weezy had just suggested the same thing, she immediately wanted to tell him that marriage was a mistake. He barely knew this girl. They were children. How did they think they could make a marriage work? But she kept her mouth shut.
She imagined the children would want a quick justice of the peace ceremony, that maybe they’d all go out for a nice lunch afterward. And then after the baby was