neighborhood. It had been fun to meet with her every weekend, sometimes stopping for lunch in the middle of their day, eating pizza and taking a break to go over what they’d seen so far. And then one day, when Sarah dropped her off, she turned off the engine and said, “Martha, can I ask you something?”
“Sure,” Martha said. She thought maybe Sarah wanted her to rank the places they’d seen that day. But that was not what she wanted.
“Do you really think you’re looking to buy an apartment?” Sarah asked.
“Of course I am,” Martha said. She sniffed.
“Okay, well, I’m happy to help you find a place. And I want you to find a place that you love. But at this point I’m getting worried that you’re not going to be happy with anything we see.”
“I don’t want to compromise,” Martha said. “You’re the one that said I could find my perfect home.”
“I did,” Sarah said. She put her hands on the steering wheel and breathed in and out like she was trying to figure out what to say. “But at some point, there’s going to be something you’re not thrilled with. I’m not saying you have to settle for a place, but there’s trade-offs. A place with a balcony might not have a washer and dryer and you just need to decide which one you want more. Does that make sense?”
“I need a washer and dryer.”
“Right, I know. That’s why we put it on the top of your list.” Sarah tapped the pad of paper and bit her lip. “Martha, I just need you to really think about this. We’ve spent seven of the last ten Saturdays together. And again, I’m happy to take the time if it’s going to end in a sale. But I’m starting to think that this isn’t going to. That you aren’t going to find anything that you feel comfortable buying.”
Martha didn’t know why people said that they were happy to do something and then followed it up by saying they weren’t happy about it. It didn’t make any sense.
“Look,” Sarah was saying, “maybe we just need to take a break for a month or so. Take all the flyers for the places we’ve seen and look them over and think about what you want. Maybe you’re just oversaturated with looking.”
Oversaturated? Martha was pretty sure that didn’t make any sense at all. Sarah was kind of stupid sometimes. She used words wrong all the time, but Martha let it go because she felt bad for her. She just wasn’t book smart, not at all. She’d told Martha where she went to college, but it was nowhere that Martha had ever heard of before. It was probably some online university, the kind that accepted anyone.
“Fine,” Martha said. She started gathering up her papers.
“Martha, please don’t be angry.” Sarah put her hand on Martha’s arm. “I’m not trying to upset you. I just have to be practical here. I hope that you’ll call me in a few weeks and want to look at more places and that we’ll find one. I’ll keep e-mailing you with anything I think you’ll like, okay?”
“Okay,” Martha said.
When Martha got out of the car, she was embarrassed, although she couldn’t say why exactly. She’d told Weezy that night that she was taking a break from looking. “I just think I need to take a step back,” she’d said. Weezy tried to ask more about it, but Martha shut it down. “I’m just not finding what I want.”
When she told Dr. Baer, she said that it was hard to commit to buying something. “It’s a big step. There’s a lot to consider.”
“Maybe you should start smaller then,” Dr. Baer said. “You could rent.”
Rent? Martha had to take a deep breath before she said something rude. Why would she throw her money away, month after month? Money she worked hard for and spent so long saving. It was a buyer’s market. But maybe Dr. Baer didn’t know a lot about real estate. It seemed a little ridiculous to have her try to give Martha financial advice, especially when it was so bad.
“I’ll think about it,” she’d said.
But she hadn’t. She hadn’t thought about it at all. Once she stopped looking, it was easy to forget. And even if she did want to try again, the thought of calling Sarah was too humiliating. But now it had been a year, and she was ready to look again. She thought about finding a new Realtor,