a DJ came in on Friday nights. She wondered if he was mad when that happened, if he felt like his house had been taken over, or if he had a different place that he found, another quiet place for the summer.
“I’m pregnant,” Lainie said. She was addressing a thin, limp fry that she was holding. It seemed to bend further with the news.
“What?” Claire said. “When?”
“I just found out last week. It wasn’t the flu.”
“Oh my God. Well, congratulations.”
Lainie’s eyes had started to fill with tears. “I can’t be pregnant,” she said. “What am I, that reality TV woman that has like a hundred kids? I’m barely recovered from Matthew. I can’t be starting this all over again.” She took a sip of beer and the tears fell on her cheeks.
“Should you be having that?” Claire asked.
“It’s just one beer,” Lainie said. “It won’t do anything.”
“Okay,” Claire said. She was unsure how to continue.
“It’s just so fucked up. I can’t believe I let this happen. We have, like, just barely enough money now, but not even really. And that’s with me teaching, which I can’t do much longer.” Lainie’s nose had started to run, and Claire handed her a napkin.
“You’ll be okay,” Claire said. “I know you will. It seems crazy now, I’m sure, but you’ll be okay.”
Lainie lifted the glass of beer to her lips and then put it down again without drinking. “I don’t even want it,” she said, pushing it away. “Not really. I just ordered it because I’m annoyed I can’t have it.”
“What did Brian say?”
“Same as me. He just doesn’t know how we’re going to afford it, or even fit in our house anymore, not that that matters, because we’re not going anywhere. We can’t.”
They sat together for a while, Claire reassuring Lainie that it would be fine, and Lainie listing all the things that would be different. They picked at the fries, and Claire drank both of the beers, even though by the time she got to Lainie’s, it was a little warm.
“Well, maybe it will be a girl,” Claire finally offered, as they paid their tab. “You did always want a girl, too.”
Lainie laughed and put the last group of french fries in her mouth, dragging them through the cold grease that was dotted with garlic before eating them. It was a bitter sort of laugh that sounded like she was a wise old person who’d seen it all. “It will be a boy,” she said. “I know it. We’re just going to have all boys.”
WHEN CLAIRE GOT BACK HOME, she didn’t even bother going inside before she called Fran. He was sleeping, but he answered the phone. “Come over,” he said. And so she ran there, all six blocks to his house, like she was in a race. She stopped when she got to his driveway, and rested for a minute, putting her hands on her knees.
She walked down the stairs on the side of the house, and turned the doorknob carefully. Fran never locked the door, which usually bugged her, but tonight she was grateful. The room was dark, and she stood in the doorway for a minute, letting her eyes adjust, so that she could see enough not to crash into anything.
She walked to the side of the bed and looked down at Fran, who had fallen back asleep. He was so handsome, but when she looked at him, she thought what her high school self would have thought: He’s so hot. She touched his head and he opened his eyes and gave her a sleepy smile.
“Hey,” he said. “You’re a nice surprise.”
She bent down over him, putting her face in his neck and smelling him, all cinnamon and smoke, and for one scary second, she thought she was going to start crying. Fran pulled sleepily at her shirt and then her pants.
“Off,” he said. “Take these off.”
And so she unbuttoned her jeans, fumbling with the zipper, like she couldn’t make her fingers move fast enough. She slid out of them quickly, tripping a little as she pulled them off her feet. Then she took off her shirt with one movement and finished the rest before getting into bed, sliding in between the sheets and moving over next to him so that her skin was touching his. “Come here,” he said, and so she did. She would have done anything he told her to at that moment, would have listened to anything he said.
CHAPTER 17
Her mom had said not