no big deal? Like there wasn’t a feud that went back generations?
“Marlene, can I get you a refill?” Cara asked.
She glanced up, looking over the rims of blue reading glasses. “I’m fine, but thank you.”
Well they could obviously see her.
She caught me staring and her mouth twitched in a smile. “Hi, Gavin.”
My eyes darted around again. Apparently this was fine. “Hi, Mrs. Haven.”
Little knowing smiles passed between the other women. I decided this must be girl stuff that was above my head, so I wouldn’t worry about it. I had enough on my mind anyway.
“Here, Otter.” Gram tossed me a package of light blue yarn. “Roll that into a ball for me.”
She’d given me this job before. Little kid me had sat at her feet while she tipped back and forth in her rocking chair, telling me stories while I rolled yarn.
“So what are we talking about?” I asked.
“I’m trying to plan Grace’s baby shower, but she’s shooting down all my ideas,” Cara said.
“Not all your ideas,” Grace said. “Just the male stripper.”
Cara rolled her eyes and perched on the arm of Grace’s chair. “I thought you’d want your shower to be fun.”
“I’m pretty sure we can have fun without a stripper. And it’s a baby shower, not a bachelorette party. How does a stripper go with a baby shower theme?”
“He’d be dressed like a hot doctor. That totally works with a baby shower theme.”
Grace tipped her head, like she was acknowledging Cara’s point.
“You could have him jump out of a cake,” Fiona said. “That would be fun and unexpected.”
“Speaking of the cake—”
“No,” Grace said, cutting her off.
“You don’t even know what I was going to say, my lovely buttercup.”
“We’re not doing a vagina cake with a doll head coming out of it.”
“Are vagina cakes a thing?” I asked. “I think I’d be totally on board with a vagina cake, but I’m not feeling the doll head coming out of one. Seems a little too on the nose.”
Cara tapped her phone screen a few times. “Totally a thing. See?”
The picture showed a pink cake with a doll head emerging from an even pinker vagina. There were even little chocolate sprinkles—whoever had been the pussy model apparently hadn’t been a waxer.
I shuddered and handed her phone back. “I can’t unsee that.”
“Why anyone would do that to their lady garden is beyond me,” Cara said. “No offense, boo. You’re going to do great.”
“Women do that to their lady garden because they want a family,” Grace said.
“This is why I adopted Fiona,” Cara said.
“Grace, you’re better off with the doctor stripper,” I said. “I’d give her that one so she gives up on the scary vag cake.”
“I’m not budging on either,” Grace said. “No strippers. No vagina cake.”
Cara smiled, tapping her phone screen again. “That’s fine because I wasn’t going to suggest a vagina cake. I want to get something like this.”
She held up her phone again. This cake had baby blue frosting and a big white cartoon sperm on top. He had eyes and a big grin that made him look very proud of himself. The cake read I did it in big white letters.
“Aw, look at the cute spermie,” Fiona said.
Grace laughed. “Okay, that’s adorable.”
“See? I’ve got you, boo.”
Tillie clicked her tongue. “Oh, Cara.”
“It’s the perfect follow up to the penis cake I had made for her bachelorette party. I know how to stay on brand.”
“That cake was really good,” Grace said.
I shifted, trying to get my leg in a more comfortable position, then kept rolling Gram’s yarn. “I didn’t get any cake.”
“You’d eat a dick cake?” Cara asked.
I shrugged. “It’s cake.”
“Otter, do you think Skylar would like to come to Stitch and Sip?” Gram asked.
“That’s a great idea,” Fiona said.
Grace sighed. “I keep meaning to invite her, but I seem to be forgetting everything lately.”
“Pregnancy brain,” Lacey said. “It’s a thing.”
Grace laughed.
I hunkered down in the chair. “Yeah, you should invite her.”
Cara narrowed her eyes at me.
I ignored her.
“Fiona, how are the wedding plans coming?” Lacey asked.
“Great,” Fiona said with a big smile. “We’re keeping it really simple, so there’s not a lot to do.”
“And you’re having it at Gram’s?” Lacey asked.
Fiona nodded. “We’re putting up a tent, so it’ll be pretty and also warm.”
“I’m still surprised you talked that broody man into a wedding,” Cara said. “I thought for sure he’d just whisk you off to Vegas or something.”
“We thought about that, actually,” Fiona said. “But getting married at Gram’s just feels so perfect. Evan’s really excited. You just