the air. Instructors would tell you to look at the scenery, keep your eyes on the horizon, look up at the sky. Anywhere but down.
I climbed over the bridge railing and kept my eyes forward. I knew what the water looked like below me. It was deep and wide—too deep to make out much at the bottom of the dark water. This was going to be cold as fuck, but I was a strong swimmer. I’d get back to the bank.
And I’d worn a helmet. I was crazy, but I wasn’t stupid.
My brothers had asked me a thousand times why I had a death wish. I told them, every single time, that I didn’t want to die. Quite the opposite, actually. I wanted to live.
And I’d spent the last twenty-four hours fucking living.
No, I wasn’t out here hoping I might not make it out alive. I was out here to show this fucking bridge who was boss.
It wasn’t the bridge that had almost taken Skylar. I couldn’t jump from that one, even if it hadn’t been smashed by a giant tree. This was a bridge I’d been wanting to tackle for a long time. Not many guys had jumped it, even my friends who were into this shit.
I sucked in a couple of breaths and hit my chest a few times. Then I said fuck it all, and looked down.
The wave of disorientation hit me hard, but I was ready for it. I held on to the railing behind me and waited until my brain got its bearings. My heart beat furiously, but that was why I was here.
Once again, I was the shark. I had to keep moving.
After leaving Skylar’s house yesterday, I’d been too amped up—crawling out of my own skin. I’d gone straight for Evan’s place to take my dirt bike out on the trails. After a hard ride, I’d been physically tired, but mentally I hadn’t been able to stop. I’d wound up at the Mountain Goat Tavern playing blackjack with a bunch of guys from the sheriff’s department.
They’d cleaned me out, so I’d gone home to crash for a few hours. Sleep hadn’t helped. I’d woken up with a bunch of energy, and the feeling of my chest being crushed hadn’t gone anywhere.
So I’d gone rock climbing. And when that didn’t help, I’d decided I needed to tackle this fucking bridge.
It was symbolic. I hadn’t been myself since Skylar and Caroline’s accident. If I came out here and jumped off this bridge—alone, in the cold—it had to make me feel better. I was going to fucking conquer this, right here and now.
The water flowed below me, little eddies and whirls on the surface. Everything seemed to get quiet and still, and for a second, my heartbeat slowed.
I loosened my grip on the railing.
“Gavin!” Logan’s panicked voice rang out from my right. He ran toward the bridge with Levi right next to him. They were followed by Evan and Asher.
Damn it.
“Gavin, don’t fucking jump!”
Gritting my teeth, I almost let go. It wasn’t like I was trying to kill myself. I’d be fine.
Physically, at least. I wasn’t fine, and I knew it. But I had no idea what to do about that.
But something in Logan’s voice made me hesitate. And I didn’t jump.
And something about that made me mad.
Anger was a feeling I could understand. So I grabbed onto it.
They hit the bridge deck and I swung one leg over the railing and hoisted myself over. Logan reached me first. He grabbed my shirt and jerked me away from the edge.
“What the fuck?” I yelled, shoving him off me.
My brothers circled around me, like they were worried I’d make a run for it and throw myself off the edge. Asher crossed his arms and Evan locked me in a dangerous stare.
“What the hell are you doing?” Logan asked.
Levi ran his hands through his hair. “Jesus, Gav, you scared the shit out of us.”
“You guys are right on time. I didn’t need an audience, but why the fuck not?”
“Are you insane?” Logan asked.
“I can make the jump,” I said. “The water’s deep enough.”
“It’s like forty fucking degrees out here,” Asher said.
I scoffed. “Whatever. I’d make it to the bank.”
“Like hell you would,” Levi said. “You’d fucking drown out there.”
“You can’t bridge jump alone, especially this time of year,” Asher said.
“You guys realize I’m an adult, right? I don’t need your asses babysitting me all the time.”
“We just chased you down when you were on the brink of throwing