out of a relationship anyway.
She’d have to understand.
23
Skylar
Gazing out the window of the Steaming Mug, I wrapped my hands around my coffee cup, enjoying the warmth that seeped into my skin. The sky outside was pale blue, a hue that hinted at the chill in the fall air, and the mountainsides had gone from green to a patchwork of reds, oranges, and golds.
Little pumpkins decorated the tables in the coffee shop. I wondered what Halloween in Tilikum was like. It was my favorite holiday. Something about it being creepy but still safe appealed to me.
Gavin had asked me to meet him here, but I’d come a little early. My head was still a mess after seeing Cullen yesterday. He was such a jerk. How could he have just dropped the ball on that foreign rights contract? The least he could have done was tell me he wasn’t going to see it through. And what was with showing up at my dad’s house like that, just to get a signature? He’d said they had rented a cabin, which of course meant he’d been enjoying a romantic weekend getaway with stupid Pepper Sinclair. Apparently he’d wanted to rub that in my face, the asshole.
I wasn’t just upset because I’d been through a breakup, or because he’d tossed me aside like I’d never meant anything to him, personally or professionally. I was upset at myself for ever thinking he could be the one. How had I not seen who he really was? His behavior since he’d dumped me seemed so shockingly horrible, but then again, was it really so surprising?
Looking back, what I’d taken for seriousness and stoicism were mostly him being a jerk. He’d belittled me for being overly sensitive, dismissing my anxiety as an annoying weakness. Even something I was making up. He’d called me dramatic and unreasonable. Told me to just get over it.
I knew I was an anxious, and often hypersensitive person. I did my best to manage the way my anxiety made me feel so it didn’t hold me back too much. Was it really so bad if background noises sometimes bothered me, or I got nervous around people I didn’t know? Was I really that high maintenance?
Cullen had thought so. He’d thought I was so fragile, he’d cheated on me for months rather than tell me the truth.
I let out a long breath. Like my mom had said, at least I hadn’t married him. That would have been a disaster.
It made me wonder if Mom saw her marriage to Dad as a disaster. It was hard to say. I wasn’t even sure what had actually happened between them all those years ago.
Last night, I’d escaped into the comfort of one of my favorite books. I’d read it several times over the years, and reading it again was like visiting an old friend. Comfortable and relaxing. Because I knew what would happen, I didn’t feel any stress as I read. It had felt good to shut out the world for a little while and live in another one—a world where I knew how the story ended.
I hoped Gavin had understood why I’d needed to be alone. It had seemed like he did. Cullen had showed up like an earthquake, shaking my foundation out of nowhere. I’d needed some time to process. To let all that adrenaline work its way through my system.
Although Cullen hadn’t been the only reason I’d been amped up yesterday.
Gavin probably thought I’d invited him over for sex. Despite the way I’d basically attacked him as soon as he’d sat on my bed, I hadn’t meant to. I’d honestly asked him to come over so I could write. But once I’d shut my bedroom door, I’d been flooded with lust. A repeat of that potent desire I’d felt for him the other night.
What was I doing?
Sleeping with a guy I wasn’t really dating was very out of character for me. But something about Gavin seemed to do that to me. He brought out a side of me I’d never known was there.
And I liked it.
The shop door opened and Gavin came in, dressed in a dark jacket and jeans. His hair was adorably unkempt, his sexiness so effortless. My heart skipped and I nervously tucked my hair behind my ear.
His crutches were gone. He wore a boot on his left leg and he was actually walking.
“Look at you,” I said as he came over to my table. “No more crutches.”
His lips pressed together in a