El Camino and slammed the back of my head against the head rest. People were not supposed to care about me. This was not supposed to happen. I had a checklist.
1. Follow the rules.
2. Keep my head down.
3. Graduate.
4. Get the hell out of Dodge.
How did things get so messed up?
“Are you going to quit?” Phoenix braved, his voice gentle and soothing.
“No,” I gave in. This was a mistake, a huge mistake. But I couldn’t walk away from these people. I shouldn’t involve them in my life, and I certainly shouldn’t expect their feelings for me to be real…. But I couldn’t walk away from them now. I cared about them too. “But I’m not this, this person Ryder’s made me out to be, Ok, Phoenix? I’m just fine, really.”
“If you say so, Ivy,” Phoenix shot me a sad smile. “But, uh, before you go…. I’ve been meaning to ask you about, um, Exie?”
Despite the mood I slipped into, I couldn’t stop smiling at Phoenix. “Yeah? Exie?”
“Is she like, with anybody?”
“Um, not that I know of,” I encouraged. Even though I knew she actually was with somebody, but not somebody that mattered and she was probably plotting their breakup already anyway.
“So she gave me her number, but I didn’t know if she, you know…. should I call her?” he asked so adorably nervous I couldn’t help but laugh a little.
“Yes, Phoenix. If she gave you her number, you should definitely call her.” I was actually impressed with him. Exie did not just give out her number to random people. Even a lot of the guys she hooked up with didn’t get her cell number. Of course they also didn’t last more than a couple days. And I was hoping Phoenix would last for more than that. Exie had a chance at some happiness with Phoenix and I just wanted her to have that, have some happiness, for at least a little bit.
“Thanks Ivy,” his huge grin was back, lighting up his entire face. “See you tomorrow.”
“Yep, thanks for the ride,” I climbed out of the car and all the way up the stairs, through the glass doors and to the elevator. This night turned out weird, fun, frustrating and…. just weird all the way around.
I didn’t know if I would ever find my equilibrium with Ryder.
The door to my apartment was open when I got off the elevator and a shot of nerves zapped through me. Shoot.
As the elevator doors quietly closed behind me my mother appeared in the doorway. Her bronzed red hair hanging loose and wild around her shoulders, her usually bright green eyes were dulled and anguished in the corners and her mouth was pressed into a grim line as she watched me approach.
Although our apartment building was not entirely full yet since it opened a few years ago, this floor was. However we didn’t know any of our neighbors. It was dangerous to get to know people where we lived, the curse was unpredictable and we preferred to live without the drama. Besides, my mother was a selfish creature and making friends was not necessarily a top priority for her.
Her priorities started with making money and then only became variables of that.
Because we didn’t know our neighbors and didn’t care to know them, I knew I was safe until the door shut behind me, but walking down the long hall with her eyes so hatefully turned on me was intimidating.
To say the least.
“Where have you been?” she snapped as the door clicked closed behind me.
She hadn’t moved, except to allow us privacy. Still framed in the doorway, her hands had moved aggressively to her hips and her eyes narrowed into slits of fury.
“I was out with Chase,” I lied. Blatantly.
She seemed to chew that over for a minute before deciding that was an acceptable response. She forced a breath out and a wave of whisky hit me. Then she wobbled on her feet and I knew this was bad.
She never drank whisky. Never.
Lady’s only ever drink delicate drinks. Save the hard stuff for the boys.
Still, when things went badly for her, she hit the sauce. And hard.
“Are you Ok, mom?” I asked before thinking better of it.
“Of course, I’m Ok,” she bit out, her relaxed eyes instantly tensing again. “Have you gained weight?”
I opened my mouth, closed it again and then opened it. “Um, no, I don’t think so.”
“Oh, well maybe you need to drop three pounds anyway, Ivy,” her tone was that pretending kind of