beneath long, tattered hems. A sigh escaped me before I could stop it and I slammed my back into the cold stone wall that lined the halls in between banks of lockers, completely wrecking my view of Ryder and the office.
Grrr.
What was going on with me?
I stared off into space, focusing my gaze on the windowed front doors so that I wouldn’t be tempted to check out Ryder or his delicious ass anymore. Ugh….
Voices and commotion drew my attention to the other end of the hallway when a classroom door banged open and students filed into the corridor. I squinted in an effort to recognize any of them as they walked excitedly in my direction. Chase was somewhere in the middle of the crowd, with Phoenix right at his side and my heart stuttered a little with anxiety. I shook away the feeling of being caught, and tried to convince myself that not only was there nothing going on between Ryder and me, but Chase didn’t really have any claim over me anyway.
If I was my mother or any of the other women in our circle, I would be practically bursting with pride and a reason to make both men jealous. But I was so not them and sickening guilt and shame flushed through my blood like a fast rush of self-loathing.
I put on my best smile and willed my eyes to look happy when Chase and Phoenix slowed down to talk to me. Chase cast a curious, worried glance in the office and I wondered if it was aimed at Ryder or the potential trouble I could be in.
“Hey what are you guys up to?” I asked, drawing Chase’s gaze back to me.
He held up a paper airplane that was being carefully grasped between his thumb and index finger and waved it around. “Physics project,” he explained.
“We’re taking it to the hill,” Phoenix cut in, and nodded with his head toward the front doors of the school that would lead out to sprawling, steep hills on either side of the long staircase and down to Dodge Street.
“Fun,” I drawled unenthusiastically.
“What are you up to?” Chase asked, taking a step closer to me.
I hesitated, while Ryder walked out of the office handing me the pass. It burned in my
fingers, painting me as guilty. Ryder exchanged greetings with his friends completely unfazed with what I was going through. Of course he wouldn’t or shouldn’t feel any of the stirrings of guilt or remorse; we really had done nothing wrong.
“My phone call went long,” I explained not telling a lie, but not exactly telling the truth either…. my specialty. “Ryder was nice enough to write me a pass so I wouldn’t get marked for being late.”
“Aw, that’s nice of you buddy,” Phoenix crooned at Ryder and tried to pinch his cheek.
“Back off, man,” Ryder laughed, smacking away Phoenix’s long, gangly arm.
Their exchange was followed by thirty very awkward seconds of silence while Chase sized Ryder up and shot me a nervous glance that let me know to some men, I still had power. Chase took another step toward me, like he was marking his territory and a flash of panic heated my belly. Not wanting to examine it for too long, or analyze if my reaction had anything to do with Ryder’s watching gaze, I raised my hand in a wave goodbye.
“Well, thanks for the pass Ryder,” I started walking backward, clutching my books to my chest and the thin yellow paper between my fingers tightly. “I better get to class, since I’ve missed so much already. See you guys at lunch.”
I didn’t wait for any response, but turned on my heel and high-tailed it out of there. Ok, weird morning. But at least I had been sufficiently distracted from thoughts of Nix, my mother, or what was waiting for me at home tonight.
Chapter Nine
“Thanks again for the ride,” I offered for the fourth time. Chase sat across the armrest in the driver’s seat of his tan Honda Civic sedan and smiled at me. It was obvious I was stalling, but I was hoping he thought it was just because I wanted to spend time with him.
Which I kind of did. Chase was easy to be around, there was no hidden agenda, no evil plans for my future or even my pants. I could breathe. And breathing was the most important thing in my life right now.
“We could go do something if you’re not ready to go home yet?” he answered back