until I turned eighteen, to hell with my mom and Nix and sticking it out for my trust, I would leave tonight. I couldn't hurt Ryder. I wouldn't hurt him. Not after what he did for me. And not just the douchebag at the hotel. He also made me believe in friendship, in caring about somebody and being cared about in return. Falling for me was a trap and I would never involve him in the screwed up soap opera that was my life.
"Nothing I feel for you is forced or fake," Ryder confessed sincerely. His eyes turned into silver pools in the darkness, promising me truth, promising me authenticity and honesty. His words and the deep, hopeful meaning floated on the air between us; wrapped around me whole and sank into my skin before I could stop them. “Nor will it ever be.”
The urge to flee was so strong and dominant that I thought it would propel me from the bench on its own but I couldn't make my feet move, I couldn't find the courage to leave him. It didn’t exist inside of me. All my lectures, pep talks and hours of reasoning to give Ryder a better life, a life without me fell to the ground in a pile of ashes when presented with the challenge. I chose Ryder. And even though I hoped to keep him as a friend, I knew without a doubt I would always choose Ryder.
A flutter took off in my stomach, flapping wings of reluctant hope and distant excitement. My heart clenched in my chest, an unfamiliar pang of affection I was starting to associate with Ryder. Only Ryder.
"How can you be sure?" I challenged on a whisper, afraid my own voice would prove him wrong.
He smirked at me then, wicked and taunting, "Because I don't like you.... at all. You can't fake this level of irritation. You could quite possibly be, the most obnoxious person I’ve ever met," He explained everything on a smile so that I know he was teasing me.
But that was also how I knew I was in trouble. I was falling for him and in every single way. I wasn’t supposed to. Hell, I didn't even want to, not really. I didn’t want the baggage, or the mess, or the unrequited feelings. But there it was. I was falling. And I couldn't stop it from happening.
The way he played his guitar.... the way he drank his coffee.... the way he didn't bother with his hair, the way he laughed at me, the way his silver eyes cut to me from across a room and he could determine in once glance if I was alright or if I needed to be rescued, the way he protected me from everything, even myself.... but most of all the way he made me feel when we're together, when we're not together, hell the way he made me feel anything at all.... the butterflies and blushing.... the rush of it all. Damn it. I'd fallen for the rush.
“You are such a brat!” I rolled my eyes and leaned back, forcing our hands apart.
“Takes one to know one,” he droned, still making fun of me.
“That was so clever and creative, I’m speechless,” I teased. “So speechless. Did you make that up? How did you get so smart? I want to be like you when I grow up!”
“Alright, smartass, let’s get you to class before Tanner hunts you down and performs the Spanish Inquisition on you.” He stood up, legs still spread across the bench seat and reached for my hands again.
I gave them to him and let him pull me to my feet. We had another moment of staring into each other’s eyes until he reached down and cupped my face in his hands. “I will never let something like that happen to you again, Ivy.”
I knew exactly what he was talking about. And so I stayed quiet. Because knowing my life, knowing what Nix had planned for me, I knew there was no way for him to keep his promise. He didn’t react to my silence, or try to argue his way into my belief system.
But he did close the distance between us and press an utterly heartbreaking, devastatingly sweet kiss to my lips. I just responded. There was nothing else I could do. I couldn’t pull away, or even press back. I just let him kiss me and in doing so, take away some more of my pain.
“We’re going to get