bagel, I stared at Drezden from the corner of my eye. It was a face I'd seen so many times in magazines or on blogs, but in person, it served to remind me of where I was. I hadn't gotten over how, just yesterday morning, I'd woken up with a tight neck on the hard seat of my brother's busted up tour bus.
And now I was riding in luxury.
The bite of bagel was dry in my mouth. I'd inevitably found my mind wandering to last night. Drezden, the bathroom, the tub... I reached over, itching at the bandage on my elbow.
Craning his neck, his hard green eyes locked onto what I'd just done. “Do they hurt today?”
Tingles rolled up my face, causing me to flush. Taking a swig from the bottle of water he'd found for me, I wiped my mouth, stalling. “No, they're—I'm fine. Don't worry about it. I'm tougher than you think.”
“I think,” he whispered, “That we went over that last night.” His slow smirk was as tangible as fingers running over my thighs.
Squeezing my knees together, I fought down a wave of—what? Lust, fear, why can't I tell the difference? “Could we not talk about that?”
“Which part?”
“All the parts,” I muttered. Tossing the rest of my bagel in the trash, I glanced towards the back of the bus.
Drezden said, “If you're worried about the band finding out about you throwing up outside, don't be. Brenda won't say anything to them.”
Sucking in a slow breath hardly calmed me at all. “I know. I'm not worried about that. I'm thinking about... the aftermath.” Even bringing up the incident in the tub was making my skull throb.
Other parts of me, too.
Something touched my ankle under the table. It took me a second to realize the hard material was Drezden's boot. “What about the aftermath?” he asked.
My poker face was the worst. Widening my eyes ‘til they ached, I watched him without blinking. How could he look so smug? Did he not care if anyone found out about us rubbing our junk together? I'd been around enough band drama to know that shit like last night never ended well. It only took one rumor—or one reality—to tarnish a name.
This band is my opportunity. No way I'll risk that. I don't even fucking know what I'd be risking it for—a night with Drez, or more?
His eyes were a slithering world of dark promises. “Listen,” I started to say.
He pulled his foot away. It left me emptier somehow. “Lola, I'm not a fucking moron.” There, that was the harsh side of the singer I was used to. It wasn't comforting, but it left me feeling less of a mushy mess. “I'm not going to say anything to Porter or Colt, or anyone.”
The flutter in my heart died. His words were supposed to reassure me. Instead, they left me stiff and aching with a frustration I couldn't express. He thinks that what happened is something that needs to be hidden. He's right. Why does that hurt to hear?
Squeezing my water bottle, I jumped into the aisle. “Then we're on the same page. Fine. I need to call my brother.” Not giving him a chance to argue, I trotted down the bus steps and into the early morning air.
I did need to talk to Sean, but I hadn't been planning on doing it now. I just needed to escape from Drezden and his cloying existence.
The parking lot of the Griffin was packed with cars. Finding Barbed Fire's bus didn't take me that long. Debating calling him first, I instead just clomped up to the door and pushed. It opened easily, revealing Shark slumped over at the wheel. He was startled at the sight of me. “Lola! You scared me, shit!”
“Sorry.” His genuine shock made me smile. A tug of sad nostalgia hit me. No, it's too soon for that. “Is my brother in here?”
“Actually,” a voice said behind me. Spinning, I found myself eye to eye with Sean. He wore a gentle smile, a tray of coffee cups in his hands. “I went to get drinks for the guys. I got an extra, want it?”
Taking the cup, I felt the heat sinking through the cardboard sleeve. “Thanks. I thought we'd catch up before everyone takes off for the day.”
Sean lifted the tray, shoving it at Shark. He took it with confusion. “Hand those out,” he explained. “I'm going for a walk with Lola.”
****
We strolled along the parking lot, then up the road. It was reckless