had brought us together in life, I didn't know. I didn't care. All that mattered was that she was mine.
I would never lose her again.
In that tiny room, I froze my acid-green eyes on Johnny and felt the moment for what it was. Here, we both realized... here was where he'd pay his dues.
Lifting his hands to protect himself, he backed into the wall. “Drez! Wait, man! Hold on!”
Distantly, I remembered the day I'd kicked him out of my band. How I'd sucker-punched him, watched him flail and backpedal in an attempt to escape my wrath. That day, I'd only wanted him gone.
I wanted much more from him now.
Lola's scream was muffled scream around her gag. I'd grabbed Johnny up by the front of his shirt without realizing it, and even better, I'd slammed his skull into the wall, making the room—my marrow—quake. Again and again I smashed his body into the hard surface, trying to break him into tiny pieces.
True fear boiled in his eyes. The sight of it brought a smile to my lips. "This is for hurting her," I whispered, but it came out like a snarl. I don't know if he understood me at all, especially with how his eyes were rolling. Was he blacking out?
Someone called out to me. I ignored them. Twisting, feeling Johnny claw at my wrists, I threw him onto the busted linoleum floor. He belonged perfectly on that scuffed, filthy ground. He'd never looked more at home.
“Drez,” he coughed, red streaking his nose. The blood rolled down the bruise on his cheek, over the scabs of old cuts. They looked like claw marks; nails. Had Lola done that?
Reaching down, my fingers trapped his jaw. Johnny struggled but a single knee on his chest pinned him in place. He smelled like vomit and whiskey and revenge. Sweet fucking revenge.
“Drezden!” Her voice was pure, I couldn't ignore her. Lola was leaning on Sean—he'd untied her. As always, she wore no mask, her pale skin twisted in a grimace of fear. “What are you going to do?” she asked.
Her terror reached into me and plucked at my heart. Johnny was wheezing, gawking up at me. I tried to recall how this husk of a man had once called himself my friend. From the start, there had never been the connection between us that Colt and Porter had. Johnny was a wild card, too wild.
I should have known better.
“Drez,” Lola asked again, firmer. “What are you going to do?”
Squeezing Johnny's cheeks, digging in my nails, I ignored him and kept staring at her. I wondered what she saw in my face. Inside, I felt the wretched talons of the monster I knew I could be. It was hungry, and here, now, lay the decadent chance to taste victory. To chew at a sweet piece of vengeance.
Swallowing, I said, “I'm going to do what I promised. I said if I ever saw Johnny's face again... I was going to break his fucking jaw.”
Under my grip, Johnny stiffened. Closing her tired eyes, Lola turned away. It was like she was giving me permission to be the brutal beast I knew I could be. But before I could pull back my fist, she said, "Is this the real you?"
My lungs went still. I couldn't move anything, not even an eyelash. Johnny was shivering; no longer fighting back. He had nothing left for me. What had I even wanted from him?
Is this the real me? Hadn't I gone to face my father to prove I was nothing like him?
For a moment, Johnny's horror looked too much like my own mother's.
Flexing my fingers, I turned away from him. I left him whimpering on the floor, his occasional moan punctuated by a curse word.
“Call the police,” I said bluntly.
“No need,” Sean said. Nodding his head, he drew my attention to the distant sound of sirens. “Brenda must have called them like she said she would. That, or someone else in this motel did when they heard the fight.”
My head bobbed, but I wasn't listening. I was fixated on Lola—on her wide eyes, on her bruises and her smile and how her wrists were raw and red. She met me halfway, not caring about the blood I left on her cheek when I cupped her face.
Her mouth opened, but if she'd wanted to speak... I didn't let her. I buried my lips on hers like she was the first sip of water after days in the dessert. Lola, my fucking beautiful, wonderful