my white bra, I gaped at his bold action.
Drezden didn't seem to be as amazed. Digging into a cabinet, he set some cotton and bandages on the edge of the sink. “Sit down for a minute.”
That was an easy request. Nearly dropping onto the toilet lid, I shivered in the pallid light from the basic white bulbs. I'd been shirtless around other people before, but this felt... different.
There, sitting under Drezden's shadow, I was vulnerable. His eyes studied me casually, not seeming affected by the same baffling emotions I was. Could that be possible? Was I alone in fighting this back and forth temptation that screamed 'Kiss this man, touch him, just do it!'
I'd had a shower earlier... I felt like a needed another one.
A cold one.
Water ran briefly in the sink. He crouched in front of me, a damp rag in one hand. “Hold still,” he said, so brisk he clearly didn't expect me to argue.
Like a deer in front of a car that was about to smash it to bits, I froze. His strong fingers lifted my arm, dabbing the cloth on my raw flesh. Pain jolted into my nerves, searing and making me hiss.
“Hurts, right?” he asked.
“No,” I said over my numb tongue. “Not at all.”
His sideways smile grew a bud of heat in my blood. “Always acting so tough.”
I watched the way his jugular pulse along his long neck. When he rubbed my wound, I inhaled—and his pulse quickened visibly. “It isn't an act," I said.
“No?” Meeting my gaze, not blinking, he dug the hot cloth into my other arm. It wasn't hard, just enough to make me yelp and give up my act. His throaty chuckle was worse than the pain.
He whispered, “People who put on an act piss me off.”
But I need to be tough. Leaving it unsaid, I watched him bandage my elbows. Around you, I need to be... Callous. Strong.
Without fronting some kind of a wall, who knew what would happen between me and Drezden? I certainly had no clue. That was why I was so fucking nervous. This thing between us, whether it was fanatical adoration or idolization or... or something else I didn't want to name...
I just had no plan on how to deal with it.
My only option was to put up a barrier and hide.
Drezden still held my forearm. Leaning near, the long fibers of muscle in his shoulders flexed. It reminded me of his strength, how easily he had helped me inside of the bus. How he'd saved me from the guards, faced them without a fragment of fear.
The thrum in my heart was distracting. It threatened to climb right up my throat and out of my mouth. I thought, if I spoke, I'd just stutter.
“This tattoo,” he said abruptly, “What does it mean?”
Focusing on my own arm, I scrutinized the beautiful and intricate design he was referencing. It was a castle, a single stone tower wrapped in veins of ivy. Stark black and grey, I'd had to sit for a few hour long sessions to finish it. “Nothing.”
Drezden barely moved. His tiny smirk was a road map to his doubt. I was never a great liar. “It clearly means something.”
Of course it did. It meant everything about my life, about that space of time where I'd let everyone hurt me. When school had been filled with cruel bullies and crueler teachers.
The depression that had made a razor my best friend.
I'd been a hollow chunk of myself. This tattoo, though... it represented my restoration. It was the walls that I'd built to keep me from feeling fragile, the ivy a symbol of the music that had brought me back and kept me together.
But I could never explain all that to Drezden.
“You don't look well,” he murmured. His words moved a strand of hair on my forehead. Then, he straight up placed his palm on my skin. He was warm, I was a broiler.
Sucking my teeth, we both heard my throttled whistle. “I'm—I'm fine!” I blurted, twisting away in a panic. Shit, he touched me. Fuck fuck fuck I felt that between my thighs! It had been like he'd reached right inside of me and stroked my center. Except... except more pleasant.
More raw and wild.
I was worked up, sweating and pale. I saw myself in the mirror; my skin was the color of milk. Drezden went to hold me down, saying something about not moving so fast, not to panic. How could I listen to him with my ears