Turning on my heel, I stuck my hands in my pockets. “One more thing before I leave and never waste my time thinking about you again.” My lungs fluttered, mouth tasting like rust and satisfaction. “What does it take to be a good guitarist?”
He finally stood to his full height; I had his attention.
I'd never wanted it more.
“Honesty,” I whispered. The single word cut through the stagnant air of the prison. “The answer is honesty. That's why you could never make it.” And why she could. That beautiful, genius fucking girl knew the answer from the start.
His lips moved, mouthing the word softly. “Honesty?" He was rigid and motionless. "You think that's what matters?”
“Yeah.” There wasn't a tremor of doubt in my voice. How could there be? “It's what allows people to be themselves, to be free and unconstrained.” It's what will keep Lola and I together.
My heels sliced down the concrete hall like machines on a war path. I was slashing and burning everything in my past. Not to erase it, but to clear it away so I could see the roots of who I was beneath the blackened char.
I was finally done with my father.
But there was more to do before I could return to Lola.
- Chapter Twenty-Six -
Lola
Johnny took a sip from his coffee. It looked cold, made me curious how long he'd been nursing it. I thought he was nursing the information, too, like he was counting the seconds, enjoying being the center of attention again.
Finally, Johnny bent low in my direction. “I'm only telling you this because you should know the kind of man Drezden is.”
The kind of man he is. I reminded myself to breathe.
“His name isn't Drezden Halifax.” There were shiny purple circles under his eyes. “It's Anthony Holland.”
I was crushing myself, bracing myself, and then the reveal came and I just... deflated. Sean had already warned me that Drezden wasn't really his name. “So what?” I asked. “Lots of rock stars use fake names. Why does it matter?”
Under the table, something poked me; the tip of Sean's shoe. We shared a look, his saying, Take this seriously! Mine saying, This is what you brought me here for?
“It's not that he has a stage name,” Johnny went on. His excitement grew along with his rising volume. “It's the reason.”
My heart wouldn't stop racing. “Give me the reason.”
His smile was wicked, lacking sympathy in every corner. “Drez uses a fake name so that it can't be traced back to his dad. The bastard put his own fucking father in jail.”
“I—he what?” His father? What the hell?
“Drez beat the shit out of his dad, yeah.” Thin fingers ran through his greasy, unkempt hair. “Got him arrested, too. Guess the cops took Drez's side because his dad was known to drink a bit heavy."
When had I started shaking my head? “That doesn't make sense, why would he attack his dad?”
“What does it matter?” Sean snapped, gripping the edge of the tiny table. “If he could do that to his own dad, the guy has fucking issues! I told you he was dangerous.”
Johnny snorted, peering at us both. “That's for sure. He cold-cocked me, remember? I didn't do fuck all to him. If he wanted me out, he didn't need to punch me to do it—”
“Stop.” I don't understand. “Just stop a second.” This makes no sense. My temples were throbbing. “If his dad went to jail, it means he did something wrong.”
Drezden had to have a reason.
The man across from me scowled. “What, you think they needed a reason to put me in jail, too? Sometimes people end up behind bars because they're in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“Then you don't even know what happened between him and his dad, right?” I asked slowly.
Johnny's forehead wrinkled, his scowl going deeper. “Maybe I don't know the details—”
“And it doesn't matter!” Sean cut in.
“—But I know the important shit. Drezden hates his dad, and if anything, would love to see the guy dead.”
Acid bubbled in my stomach. “You know that how?”
“Why change his name, why would he want nothing to do with the guy?” Johnny's voice had a wild edge; I watched the coffee cup shake, ready to topple. “You tell me! You fucking put the pieces together. The night after we officially formed the band...” He stopped, shooting a look at Sean.
Right. Johnny took the spot Sean auditioned for.
It had been easy for me to forget the connection my brother had to all this. I'd