week at the farm.
A tremble moved from his hands to the tips of his fingers as he pealed open the single-page letter.
Pa.
I need to say so much. But every time I try to, I have no words. There are no justifications to pardon a man like me. I don’t deserve forgiveness. I will try not ask for forgiveness, but to say sorry.
Sorry I disappointed you. Sorry I destroyed your trust in me. Sorry I ruined your good name.
Derek placed the letter face down on the table and bit back the wave of emotion threatening to overwhelm him. Wiping tears from his eyes with the back of his hands, he returned to reading.
I owe so many so much. After all, sorry is just a word, but I don’t know how else to convey my unrelenting grief over what I have done. Shelly—I treated her and Thomas like shit. But more than that, I hurt someone who meant more to me than my own life. I threw her away like a used dish rag. I know why I did it, not that it excuses my actions, but I owe her a better explanation. And you. I ruined everything you worked so hard for. My selfish actions almost got you killed. Ma died thinking I was a failure …
My self-hatred destroyed so much that was good. Perhaps someday I’ll stop being a coward.
I’ve been given one last chance. I vow not to waste it. Redemption Farm is beautiful. I promise not to let you down again.
A flicker of hope lit Derek’s heart. When he’d testified for his son, he’d had a word with the magistrate beforehand. Smittie was an old friend; he’d asked the man to make sure Ray was sent to Redemption Farm. He knew beyond a doubt that it was his son’s last chance for healing, for facing the truth and maybe leading a better life.
He turned in his chair and called out, “Grace!”
It was time to let Mina’s mother know what he’d planned.
“Mommy?”
A gentle voice drifted across the warm breeze and stirred the grass.
Mina pushed up from where she lay dressed in a pair of denim shorts, sans T-shirt. Ray lay beside her, his birthday suit reflecting the gold of the sun he bathed in.
Mommy!”
Mina shot straight up from where she lay on her double bed. Rubbing her eyes, she yawned then gasped when she found Lullu sitting at the foot of her bed, eyes wide, cheeks flushed.
“Were you dreaming of my dad?” Lullu, dressed and ready for school, asked.
“Wha—why … erm, no!”
“You were moaning weirdly. Who’s Ray then?” Lullu dropped her head and glanced at her through wispy black lashes.
Mina had long ago sat down and explained to Lullu that her father was gone. She’d never bothered asking much about him and Mina had assumed that Derek le Roux was enough of a male figure in her daughter’s life—but this!
Mina swallowed hard.
“It must have been a nightmare.” She reached out and tucked a loose strand of sunshine behind her daughter’s ear.
“Are you still going to watch me train this afternoon before I go to help out with the harvesting?”
Mina wiped a shaking hand down her face. Thank goodness Lullu hadn’t asked more questions. Mina turned and dropped her bare feet to the floor as she glanced at the clock on her bedside table. Six-thirty a.m.
“I’ve told you, no going down to the warehouses for the time being.”
“Maaa.” Lullu dragged out the word, balling her small, strong fists. “There’s a blanket I want to get Boesman, and I need to work if I want to afford it.”
“I’ll buy it for you.” Mina sighed. “Besides, you can help Becky out around the house.”
“Agh. I hate housework.”
“Well, it’ll have to do for now.”
“I don’t get it. Why won’t you just tell me why?” Her daughter pleaded.
“Because I’ve decided it’s no place for a young woman, and that’s what you almost are.” Mina lied.
“So what, a small girl is safer?”
“Agh, Lullu, it’s just…” Goodness this was harder than she imagined. Where were the days when her little girl simply believed and accepted everything Mina told her?
“Did I make a mistake? What aren’t you telling me? I’m one of the best at harvesting, and you know it.” Lullu stomped her foot.
“You’ll just have to pretend you’re a big girl and that you understand for now. Besides, I could do with one of those awesome milkshakes at the coffee shop.” She proffered her daughter a smile, hoping her attempt at a bribe worked.
“Since when do