too, and you will mind never to try and fit that horse in my kitchen.” Mina bit back her grin. Ai, this girl and her horse.
“But I don’t think he knows that.” Lullu tried to wriggle out from her mother’s grip.
“He’s survived many storms here, my love. Now, come lay down. I need to finish this work on my laptop, and you need to go to sleep. Tomorrow, you have your biology test and training. Nationals are around the corner.” Mina tucked her daughter beneath the warm covers. The girl, almost as tall as her, curled into a ball and shut her eyes.
Mina leaned against the bedhead, not removing her gaze from the most amazing gift life had given her.
Memories of the day she was born rushed back.
“Push, mama,” the midwife encouraged her.
“Come, bokkie. The baby’s crowning; you’re almost there.” Her mom gripped her knee as she peered down to where the midwife positioned her hands over the crowning head of the baby, gently escorting the small life in to the world.
“I can’t … arrrgh …”
Spasms ripped across her belly and dug into her back. Her nether regions ached. She wanted to die, to scream, to curse the bastard who’d had the audacity to plant his seed in her belly! And then …
“Agh here she is now,” the midwife called out as all the pain fled her limbs and her legs collapsed showing a blue, screaming, icky, white-smeared little ball of life in the woman’s hands. She quickly wiped the screeching bundle down, and placed a bulbous instrument near the babies mouth and nose to suction any fluid or other ick which may be blocking her babies airways. Once satisfied, she laid the baby on Mina’s chest.
“A girl.” Mina cooed as the tiniest rose budded lips smacked together at the scent of her breast. Ma reached down and guided the small head to her nipple and Lullu took to it without hesitation. The midwife smiled then busied herself with the umbilical cord.
“Ja. A beautiful daughter. Look at that. She’s latched without issue.”
It was love at first sight. A feeling so strong, stronger than what she’d felt for anyone else, flooded her entire being, and then she knew. Whatever she did in her life from here on out was for this precious bundle. Nothing was about her anymore.
She looked up to her mom. “I understand now.”
It hadn’t been easy, moving off the farm and into the suburb of Bo Kaap. Nor had finishing high school as a single, teen mom in a community mostly made up of Muslims and Christian. The sleepless nights and early mornings had eaten at her soul. Thank God for Aunty Stiena, their next door neighbour, who had volunteered her time to watch baby Lullu while Mina went back to school.
Mina had survived all the finger-pointing and vile gossips. But it had made her strong. It had thickened her skin, which was just what she’d needed when going into business, opening a rehabilitation centre, and needing to stave off the pitchfork hungry uppity residents of Tatensrope.
Mina sighed. The Ray of her past deserved to know of their beautiful creature, but the Ray of now? Mina reached for the folded letter on her bedside table. It had burned a whole in her pant pockets.
Well, she supposed it was time to pull up her big girl undies and just get to it.
With trembling fingers, Mina unfolded the page. His handwriting was as beautiful as it had always been. She’d never met a person since who wrote so beautifully.
Raw grief, bitterness and mistrust,
Shackled me to the past I lost
It polluted my soul,
Thought it’d leave us whole
Facing years of wrongs,
This fool, whose pride stood strong
Deserves no gifts, no special treats,
No chance to reconcile or tell
My vain hope, eternal perhaps,
Might damn me to hell
But within fractured lines,
A story with no more lies
Wipe away the tears,
The shrapnel and the fears,
No sympathy do I seek,
Nor empathy, but only to speak.
Mina blinked several times to clear her vision. All she could do was stare at the pages. It’d been years since he’d written to her. She’d loved the words he’d strung out on paper when they’d been young. Wiping the back of her cotton three-quarter pyjama sleeve across her face, she straightened and continued to read.
I have to forgive myself for what I did to you. We were so young, so in love … I still am.
Mina dropped her hands to her lap and swallowed. He still loved her …
I’d rather be here now on