one that saved you and our daughter, and it cost me everything. I’m no longer sorry that you can’t grasp that fact.”
She bit her lip. God she was driving him insane, emotionally and hormonally.
“Why? So that you can feel better about yourself?” She leaned forward on her knees and hands as though to challenge him.
Ray shook his head. “No, so that you can move on, and my child can have a father.”
“You’re a convict and a drug addict.”
“One who’s working his goddamned arse off to make up for a past I can never change.” He focused on the flames dancing in the old stone hearth.
She sat back on her bum, her expression softening. “You’re right. I’m sorry. But … I don’t know where to start. It’s different with the inmates.”
“You don’t know them. They haven’t hurt you. I have.” Ray swallowed hard.
She was right; he was a coward, but he was also tired of running from it all.
Turning so that his body faced her and his back was to the fire, he crossed his legs and cupped his knees. “It was my fault. But I had to protect you.”
“So you’ve said, half a dozen times.”
Inhaling deeply, Ray closed his eyes and tried to centre his thoughts.
“Protect me from who, Raymond?”
“From Karl and his cronies, Benzile and Jantjie, Coach Stein, and the fucking rest of them,” he shot back at her, then looked straight over to where Lullu still lay, asleep and exhaled.
Mina stood and paced the room, folding her arms around her. “I knew it was them.” She stopped and glared down at him. “Why not tell me? We could have sorted it out together, gone to our parents …” She stopped and drew in what sounded like a deep, painful breath.
“Calm down please. I’ll get you back to the farm the moment the storm eases.”
“Don’t tell me what to do,” she shifted closer to the fire.
Ray, so tired from the years of hiding from his pain, wiped both hands over his face. “Why didn’t you tell me, Mina?” He pointed to their daughter.
Tears drowned her beautiful chocolate gaze. “Because of what you said.”
Ray shuddered as the memory of calling her a kaffirs kind reverberated through his body.
He reached for her, but Mina pulled away. He dropped his arms at his side and they both stared at the flames devouring the pieces of wood they’d been fed. It didn’t matter how hard he tried; she’d hate him forever.
“I shattered my own heart that day, sold my soul to the devil. I was afraid that if I told you, you would confront them. Mina, you have no idea what they would have done to you. They were a bunch of entitled, hate-filled bastards, and the only way I knew how to stop you from being hurt was to …”
“Break my heart too.” Her voice trembled.
She closed the space between them. “Yes. It was the only thing I could think of to keep you safe. I should have gone to Pa, but he was old friends with Coach. I thought he’d turn me away too.”
Ray turned to face her. A flash illuminated the room, and a sharp crack echoed out across the heavens. Mina jumped and Ray pulled her into him.
She was warm and fit so perfectly in his arms, the way she always had and he wished she always would. Mina didn’t fight his embrace but gripped the collar of his jacket and leaned her head away. “Fuck you and thank you, Ray.”
Tears streamed down her cheeks and over her plump mouth. Ray was drawn to her lips like the ocean to the shore. Leaning his head down, he gently touched her mouth with his. Her body tensed then relaxed, a soft sigh brushing his face. Ray only deepened his kiss when her hand brushed up the side of his neck, coming to rest on the back of his head. She pulled him in to her.
The years and the pain between them seemed to melt away as her sweet taste overrode both his senses and better knowing. Ray allowed his hands to glide up her back and cup her neck. His lips touched her cheeks and stroked her jaw, following the silky path down her neck …
The couple jumped apart. The rustling of Lullu stirring reminding Ray they were not alone.
“Sorry,” he apologised, suddenly afraid of what might or might not happen next.
“She’s perfect.” Mina twisted where she sat huddled on his lap, and looked from her daughter’s sleeping form to