out safely in here,” he explained.
“I’m not sure.” Mina sighed.
“We don’t really have a choice.” Ray nodded toward their daughter, staring suspiciously at him.
Lullu cocked her head at the same moment her mother placed balled fists on her hips.
“I saw you walking with Oupa the other day,” Lullu said.
Mina glanced at her daughter, then Raymond, her lips pursing as her shoulders dropped. “You’re probably right. I have a tarp behind the seat, and matches and a candle in the cubby-hole.”
“I’ll get that. You clear out what you can from that old fireplace. And you make sure to keep him calm.” Ray pointed a finger at the gelding before he turned and headed out into the storm.
“Argh.”
He spun around.
Mina, took a step forward, and buckled over clutching her chest.
Ray ran to er side. “Geezus, are you okay?” Ray wrapped his arms around her.
Lullu, left the horses side and knelt beside her mother patting her pockets. “Mom, where’s your inhaler?”
“I …” She wheezed. “… fo-got.”
“You have asthma? Quick, Lullu. We need to get a fire going.”
He knew just what to do.
“One of my…er…cell mates,” he glanced to Lullu, “Suffered asthma. His inhaler was constantly stolen. So he googled these breathing exercises to help hi whenever he had an attack and no asthma pump to help him out.”
Wind and rain howled through the large broken window at the far end of the room, but up where they’d positioned themselves around the ancient fireplace, it couldn’t quite reach them.
Ray sat with Mina’s head on his lap and her back toward the fire for warmth. She coughed, inhaled, then coughed again.
“Inhale, hold…good now slowly let it go,” Ray coached her through a breathing spasm.
“It’s easing.” She waved at Lullu.
Ray tucked a wayward strand of hair behind Mina’s ear then poked the flames with the foot of the old chair. Lullu had found more fuel and soon their fire roared bright and warmed the large area, which Ray assumed must have once been the lounge.
He looked over to where Lullu now sat on the tarp, her horse beside her, his head on her lap. “You have a way with him.”
Lullu looked up sleepily and smiled. “He’s my soul mate.”
Ray’s eyes shot toward Mina. Their gazes met, and he knew she could read his soul.
“At least he won’t break your heart.” She pushed up from where she’d lain, then bit her lip as though she’d not meant to say that out aloud.
Ray fought the rush of emotions as the wind beat the old walls and battered the tinned roof. Was this what redemption was? An eternity of being reminded of one’s past deeds no matter how hard you worked toward a better future?
Something in Ray flipped—whether it was a switch, or just that he’d finally reached his fill of recrimination, he wasn’t sure, but he’d had enough.
Standing with his shoulders straight and his hands clasped behind his back, he said, “You didn’t read my letter.”
“I did,” she whispered harshly.
The shred of hope Ray had kept safe in his fractured heart flickered. He shook his head and sat back down, bringing his knees up to his chest, folding his arms around them. He should have simply kept his mouth shut.
“Too chicken shit to tell me back then?” Mina’s voice was a whisper coated in acid.
“And you never told me of her.”
Ray bit his tongue. He’d made his choice all those years ago. Arguing over his childish decision now wouldn’t change anything.
“You goddamn coward!” Mina spat, then proceeded to cough and splutter. Ray stood and grabbed the empty tin he’d found in the bakkie. Holding it out the window, he collected some of the rainwater and brought it to her. “Drink.” He held the tin to her mouth.
“Thanks.” Her eyes reflected the flames. They glowed bronze and red as she peered over her shoulder to where her daughter now lay curled up beneath the towel beside her pony.
Lullu looked up sleepily and smiled, “He’s my soul mate,” she said, as her eyes fluttered closed.
“She asleep?” Ray nodded toward the sleeping beauty and her steed. His eyes hugged her bundled form. She was a part of him, no matter what anyone said. So perfect, so precious …
“She’ll never be a part of your life, Ray.” Mina’s voice, though softer, cut him like a jagged sword.
“I deserve your anger. But will you be able to forgive yourself when the sun comes out tomorrow?” He pointed a heated stare right at her. “I made a choice back then, a hard one, but