I made myself believe the lie. I can’t ever make that mistake again.
I have to see Jace for who he is. No matter how badly I want to believe the good, I can’t ignore the warning signs this time around. I can’t turn a blind eye and hope that things will get better.
The decision to do so the first time nearly cost me my life. I can’t put Ellie in that kind of danger.
I’m terrified. Petrified, really. Because no matter how sweet it all tastes right now, with Jace Matthews you never truly know if what you’re drinking is poison or wine until it’s already too late.
Chapter Twenty-Three
OAKLEY
Four years ago…
* * *
“Where are we going?” I ask Jace as he helps me into the old beat-up pickup truck.
“You’ll see.” He smiles, closing my door before practically skipping around the truck.
He’s in a good mood. A really good mood. In fact, he’s happier than I’ve seen him in a while.
The last year hasn’t been easy. We’ve had our fair share of ups and downs. With more downs if I’m being honest. But I finally feel like things are starting to get back on track. We’ve had a pretty good month. I just wish I could say that about all the months before this one.
Even though he promised me he would quit drinking and using drugs nearly a year ago, he’s continued to do so. The only difference is, he’s been more secretive about it. I eventually catch him, he promises it won’t happen again. Until the next time that is, and the cycle continues to repeat.
He’s been trying though. He’ll stay clean for a few weeks and then slip, but he always finds his way back. It’s been a rough road, but I know we can get through it. We have to. Because honestly, to me there isn’t another option. I see the progress he’s made and how hard he’s working to get his life back on track.
He graduated high school, even though no one thought he would. I spent countless hours studying with him and helping him with extra credit to get his grades up enough to pass. I don’t think I’ve ever been prouder of him than when they called him up on that stage and handed him his diploma.
He decided not to go to college right away. Truth be told, I don’t think school is for him, and that’s okay. He’s been working part time at McCulley’s, the local welding manufacturer here in town, and while I know he doesn’t love it, the fact that he's doing it anyway speaks volumes. It means he’s trying.
I’m ten months into my first year of nursing school. It’s a lot harder than I expected, but like Jace, I’m keeping my eyes on the prize. Between the money we’re both saving, and the type of employment I can get once I graduate, it’s only a matter of time before we’re watching Parkview disappear in the rearview mirror. And once that happens, I don’t ever plan to go back.
“You’re being very mysterious tonight,” I tell Jace when he settles into the driver’s seat next to me.
He grins, firing the engine to life. It rumbles loudly, causing the seat to vibrate beneath me.
It’s an absolute POS. Rusted, chipped paint. Cracked and torn seats. A passenger window that won’t budge. But Jace bought it for himself and that makes me love it. Because for the first time ever, he has something that belongs to him. And with his home life the way it is, he needs that.
I know he was hoping to leave his father’s the minute he turned eighteen, but truth be told it just wasn’t feasible. There’s no way we could afford an apartment and save money at the same time. So, like many things, Jace is sacrificing for me. Though most nights he stays at my house anyway, much to my mother’s dismay.
She never used to allow it, and now that I’m an adult, she still doesn’t really allow it. More like she just looks the other way. I think at this point she’s just done dealing with me and she knows that if Jace is with me, then I won’t be in her hair.
It’s sad, really. I’ve always wished I could have a better relationship with my mom, but it’s like she wasn’t hardwired with the motherly instinct to love her children no matter what. She’s not great with the twins either, though she treats them a hell of a lot