the people that care about you because you don’t think they’ll understand. And don’t ruin the good thing you have with Lance because he can’t live up to the memory of Jace. Let’s be real, no one ever will. And that’s just the sad truth. But what you two have is good. It’s really good.”
“I know.” I blow out a breath. “I just can’t help but feel like something is missing.”
“Maybe that’s because you’re holding back. With Jace you were all in. But you’ve never truly been all in with Lance.”
“Maybe.” I consider what she’s saying. Not able to deny that she’s not wrong. I know I’ve been holding back. I just don’t know why.
Maybe it’s because I’m afraid to get too close to someone again. Maybe it’s because a part of me feels guilty for moving on with someone else when, for half my life, I belonged to Jace, and him to me. I’m not sure I even fully understand my hesitance.
“He loves you, Oak. And he adores Ellie.”
“I know.”
As if right on cue, Ellie comes running into Keira’s room wearing a Cinderella dress and plastic heels, two large beaded necklaces hanging around her neck.
When we moved out, Keira kept Ellie’s room the same and we left quite a few toys here, including her dress up chest. Because she spends so much time here, Keira wanted to keep things familiar for Ellie, which I appreciate more than she will ever know. Ellie tells people she has two homes. Mama’s and Aunt Kiki’s.
“Oh my goodness.” Kiera stands. “Look how pretty of a princess you are.” She kneels down when Ellie stops in front of her.
“I’m Cinderella.” She swirls the bottom of her dress.
“You are the prettiest Cinderella I’ve ever seen.” Kiera taps her nose, causing her to giggle.
“Mama, will you come dress up with me?” She turns her bright blue eyes on me.
“Actually, baby, we need to head home soon. Aunt Kiki has to leave for her trip.”
“Nooooo!” she wails, stomping her foot dramatically.
“Ellie.” I give her a stern look to which she replies with one of her own. Her forehead is squished together as she squints her eyes and curls her nose.
“Tell you what,” Keira cuts into our stare off, “as soon as I get back I’ll come pick you up and we will go out for ice cream. How does that sound?”
“Can I have cwocolate cwip?” she asks, struggling with the ‘w’ sound.
“You can have anything you want.”
“Okay.” Ellie turns, skipping out of the room seconds later like nothing even happened.
“I swear that girl.” I shake my head.
“You’re going to have your hands full with that one. God help you when she’s a teenager.”
“Yeah, I’m already trying to mentally prepare myself.” I laugh, pushing to a stand. “Well, I guess we should get out of your hair. Will you call me when you make it to the hotel? Let me know you got there okay.”
“I will.” She pulls me into a quick hug. “And I’ll make sure to keep that boyfriend of yours in check.”
“You do that.” I force a smile that doesn’t quite feel genuine. “Speaking of Lance, I should probably call him before he hits the road.”
“You better do that soon. He’s supposed to be here to pick me up in like a half an hour,” she informs me of yet another piece of information I did not know. Why neither of them thought it was pertinent to tell me that the four of them were not only rooming together, but apparently making the trip down together as well is beyond me. Any other girlfriend would probably be pissed, and while I don’t like being kept out of the loop, I really don’t care that much, if I’m being honest. “Now get your cute butt out of here so I can finish packing.” She shoos me toward the door.
“Yeah. Yeah.” I turn. “Have fun,” I say, throwing a wave over my shoulder.
“You know I will,” she calls back as I head down the hallway to Ellie’s room.
It takes me ten minutes to coax her out of the Cinderella dress, and another five to finally get her out the door. The only problem with keeping so many of her toys at Keira’s is that she wants to take half of the stuff with her every time she leaves.
As I start to pull away from the curb, I see Lance’s car pull into the driveway in my rearview mirror. My initial thought is that I should stop to