the truth. “I suck at relationships.”
The surprise on her face was almost comical. My mother and I never got personal, so this had to feel like out of left field for her. “Relationships?” I couldn’t fault her surprise. I’ve never been in a relationship before. Mystic had been my first, was my only, and my last.
Hopefully.
“Do you remember Mystic Anderson?”
“The girl you started dating your senior year of school?” Like all the other adults in our lives, at the time, my mother thought Mystic and I had started dating the night I had outed us at Margot’s party. While Mystic had kept me a secret from her parents-and rightfully so-I had told my mom about her.
“Yeah.”
“What about her?” she asked as she set her purse on my desk and got comfortable.
“Turns out she’s working for Cavanaugh Industries, and I ran into her last week, while I was meeting with Lorcan.”
I could see indecision written all over her face. She was debating saying what was on her mind or falling into her maternal role and telling me it was all going to be okay. She knew the breakup had done a number on me, so I could understand her wariness.
“And?” she asked, deciding on getting more information before deciding how to parent me.
“And I don’t think I know how to do this,” I confessed. “I don’t know the first thing about what a healthy relationship looks like, and all I seem to do is hurt the poor girl.”
My mom gasped. “What does that mean?”
It was time.
It was time to stop lying to my mom. And it was time to try to move the hell on from the demons that kept me captive. I knew I’d never be able to shake the violent sex, but I wanted to try to rein in my trust issues. Deep down, I knew Mystic wasn’t a cheater, but looking at my mom now, I knew she didn’t think her husband was a cheater either, so what the fuck did I know?
It must have been written all over my face because her voice took on a stern, no bullshit tone. “I asked, what does that mean, Gage?”
“I accused her of cheating, even though I know she’d never,” I admitted. “She was in a room, working on a project with someone, and I let…I let a co-worker, who’s jealous of Mystic, get into my head.”
She was quiet for a few seconds before saying, “Because you don’t know what a healthy relationship looks like. Is that what you’re saying?”
I nodded. “Pretty much.”
My mother let out a deep sigh and took a seat in one of the unoccupied chairs placed in front of my desk. I watched as she smoothed her skirt over her legs in a nervous gesture. I went to sit in the chair next to her, not feeling comfortable sitting behind my desk as if she were a meeting to be had.
She looked over at me as I sat down. “I’m going to ask you something, Gage.” She cleared her throat. “I’m going to ask you something, and I want you to be completely honest with me, okay?”
“Of course,” I agreed.
“Why do you hate your father?” I wasn’t surprised by the question or the kick in my chest. I spent years protecting my mother’s happiness, only to destroy it now.
Fuck Quintin Evans.
I stared into the blue gaze that resembled my own and came clean. “I don’t know if he still does, but he cheated on you every time you went out of town when I was a kid,” I finally confessed.
She let out a slow, steady, painful breath and I knew she was gathering strength to keep this a mother-son conversation and not turn it into a woman-scorn situation. My heart broke for her at the same time I really wanted to murder my father.
After a minute, or so, she finally spoke, “When did…when did you find out?”
“I was twelve.” Now it was me taking a long, deep breath. “I was supposed to stay the night at Chance’s, but I had gotten sick. His mother took me home and…and when I had gone looking for him, I had found him in his office, and I had walked in on…on…”
“On what, Gage?”
I wanted to spare her the details, but she deserved a glimpse into how serious it was. “I walked in on him, Dr. Sorensen, and Dr. Bishop doing drugs and having sex with these three random women.” Her face turned red and I wasn’t sure if it