and his eyes narrowed a bit. “Are you telling me that, after ten years, he came after you for answers? He still cared, ten years later?”
I nodded. “Yeah. He was really pissed.”
“What did you tell him?”
“The truth,” I admitted. “I told him everything. I also pointed out how he had given up on me after only two weeks, and that is what kicked off…uh, everything else.”
Alaric let out a dark laugh. “Yeah. Regret is a motherfucker. So is hindsight.”
I could feel my eyes start to water because this was where this conversation counted with my brother. “I’m not going to lie to you, Alaric. I still love him,” I confessed. “I’m fairly certain I never stopped.”
His eyes searched mine and I thanked God that all I saw was concern and not disgust. “Are you sure it’s not the sex talking, Mys? I mean…I…I know you…” Alaric let out a deep, uncomfortable breath. “I know you like…uh, different things.”
I shook my head, dinner forgotten. “I can see how you would think I could be blinded by what Gage does for me, but it’s not that. I was lost the second he walked into the conference room at work, Alaric. Whatever bond that Gage and I had as teenagers was still there-is still there.”
“I can’t lie to you, Mys, and tell you this doesn’t worry me,” he told me honestly. “You’re my sister, and I worry about you.” He took my hands in his. “Even without…the sex part, you’re love for this guy is…extremely intense. What if it doesn’t work out again? I saw what it did to you last time, Mystic. I just don’t want to see you go through something like that again.”
“You don’t think I’ve thought about that, Al?”
“Look, I support you, no matter what,” he said. “I might not like it, and I might not understand it, but I do and will support you.” He shrugged a shoulder. “Will I ever call him up and invite him to Thanksgiving? Probably not. Seeing bruises on you, whether consensual or not, is a hard limit for me, Mystic. But I will be happy for you if you’re happy.”
The tears fell because I knew this was hard for him. His natural instinct was to defend me, and he was still struggling with understanding that I didn’t need defending on this. The bite marks and bruises usually represented unhappiness, not satisfaction.
“Alaric, I don’t even know what this is yet,” I admitted. “He barely came over last night, but we’re scheduled to talk later his week.”
“Because I’m here?”
I nodded. “Yeah. He had wanted to come over tonight, but I told him you were visiting for a couple of days and we had to put it off.”
“What did he say to that?”
“He got mad.” I winced at the admission. “He didn’t like waiting so long to…clear things up.”
“Sounds like he might be worried you’re going to vanish again.”
“I didn’t vanish the last time, Alaric,” I pointed out. “I was bullied.”
“If you and Gage work things out, then that means there will never be any hope, will there?” he asked, the subject obvious.
“Alaric, there was never any hope of working things out with them,” I replied. “As long as I carried around this empty feeling, there was no way I’d have ever been able to forgive them.”
“I’m not pleading their case, Mystic,” he said. “But they miss you.”
“I don’t care, Alaric.” I told him, and realized I meant every word. “They listened to Margot’s accounts of my life without even attempting to believe me or take me at my word. They sat there and listened to whatever details Margot gave them and started judging me for it. They took someone’s word over mine and treated me like a leper. Screw that, Al.”
He gave me a sad nod but didn’t comment. He knew it was the truth and there was nothing he could say to change it. And even if I had been on good terms with my family, Gage being back in my life would have jeopardized that. The threats they had issued when I was younger were nothing compared to what they could do to his life now. However, he was no longer a teenage boy who couldn’t fight back. Gage was a grown man who didn’t take defeat easily.
Alaric stood up and took me in his arms. He kissed the top of my head before saying, “I love you, kiddo.” His arms tightened around me. “Just…just do me a favor and please be