the one thing that I had been fighting against ever since I first caught my father being a sonofabitch. Mystic had given me everything I had needed to cope, and then she had taken it all away. And now, all I could think of was doing the same thing to her.
I wanted to hurt her.
God, how I wanted to hurt her.
I wanted her to suffer in her own misery like I had to.
Fuckin, like I still was.
With that decision made, I called Lorcan. Sure, it was late, but Lorcan hardly ever slept. He was like me in that work ruled his world.
“How much?” he asked in lieu of a greeting.
“How much, what?”
“Is your bail,” he clarified.
Dick.
“I’m not in jail, asshole,” I replied. “I’m slightly drunk, but that’s about it.”
“Jesus, Gage,” he breathed out, and I knew I should be concerned.
See, Lorcan Cavanaugh was a ruthless sonofabitch, which was probably why he was my best friend. Early on, I had learned that, while I may be a prick, Lorcan was dead inside. If he had a heart, only a precious few have witnessed it beating. Me being one of those precious few.
So, if he was concerned for me, then that must mean I was really falling off the realm of reality, and nothing good could come from that.
“What?” I snapped, knowing I wasn’t going to like whatever it was he was about to tell me.
“I don’t know,” he murmured. “I guess, even though I knew the story, I hadn’t really realized the damage that woman did you to. Seeing you almost throw away everything you’ve broken your back to achieve was…unexpected.” Okay. So, he was still in shock. I got it. “And now you’re calling me drunk, and you and I both know you never, ever get drunk.”
He was right. If I drank, it was for socializing purposes, but I never indulged beyond that. My demons were hard enough to control as it was, I didn’t need anything loosening the tight hold I had on them. But, apparently, that was all going to come to an end now because I had to know.
I had to.
“You care. Got it,” I said dryly, because Lorcan and I didn’t do emotions. I’d take a bullet for the man, but you’d never see me hugging him.
“I’m hanging up now,” he threatened.
“Don’t,” I hurried. “I have a favor to ask.”
“Jesus Christ,” he muttered. “What is it, Gage? And how many years in jail am I going to have to serve for it?”
“Not many,” I told him honestly. “You got great lawyers.”
“You’re a bastard,” he simply said. “What is it?”
“I need Mystic’s address.”
“Fuck me, Gage-”
“You’re not my type.”
“-you can’t be serious?”
“I am,” I assured him.
“First of all, why don’t you just look it up your damn self? And, second, you get a lot more than ‘not many’ years in prison for accessory to murder, asshole.”
“To answer your first question, I don’t want her last known address,” I replied. “I want her true and real address, which is on her employee file. As for your second concern, I’m not planning on killing her, Lorcan. I just want to talk to her.”
He laughed.
Dark and unbelieving.
“Bullshit,” he called through the phone. “You forget, Gage. I saw you in that conference room with her. You looked like a man possessed. And while I may be a sonofabitch, I’m not looking to see anyone get hurt.”
“Because, after everything you know, you think I’d hurt her beyond what she can take?” While Lorcan didn’t know the details, he knew enough to know our relationship hadn’t been normal.
“I wasn’t talking about her, Gage,” he said, surprising me.
Maybe it was the liquor, the emotional punch of seeing Mystic again after all these years, or the unwelcomed trip down memory lane, but I honestly didn’t think Mystic could hurt me anymore than she already had when she walked away from me ten years ago. At this point, I just wanted to know why she walked. Then, maybe, I could move the fuck on.
“I just want to know why, Lorcan,” I told him. “There’s really nothing left for her to damage further.” It was the truth. Mystic had ruined me in a way I wouldn’t wish on anyone. “I’m tired of living with that one unanswered question. I finally have the chance to put it to rest.”
“Fine,” he relented. “But I want to go on the record as saying that I think this is a bad idea.”
“Duly noted.”
“Also, you didn’t get her address from me.”
I rolled my