stepped towards me and grabbed my face by my chin. “Fuck what everyone else thinks, Mystic,” he demanded. “Those people out there don’t matter.”
“Margot does,” I countered.
“We’ll see, won’t we,” he sneered.
I slapped his hand away. “What does that mean?”
“It means, we’ll see just how good of a friend she is when she finds out just how filthy you like it and just how much I love giving it to you like that,” he said, that same sneer in his tone.
“That’s not fair!” I yelled. “Of course, she’ll be concerned if she sees the marks you leave on my body. Anyone would.”
“And that’s fine,” he replied. “It’s her reaction once you explain how you love having those marks on your body, and how much more you love getting them, that will tell you how good a friend she is.”
I shook my head. “That’s not fair, Gage,” I repeated. “Anyone would be concerned about something they don’t understand.”
“You’re standing there as if anything you say is going to change shit,” he replied. “It’s out, Mystic. Everyone knows we’re together. What do you think pretending to end things is going to do?”
He wasn’t getting it. “Aren’t you worried? Aren’t you...doesn’t this scare you? Because it sure as hell scares me.”
Gage cocked his head and regarded me for a few seconds before blowing me away by saying, “Not as much as it scares me to not have you with me for this.” I let out a deep breath and the tears came back because I knew what he was going to say next. “If I don’t have you to purge all the darkness with, then that leaves me without an outlet. And that will probably lead me to murdering someone and spending the rest of my life in prison.” He stepped towards me and cradled my face in his hands. “Finally being able to be with you publicly is going to fuck shit up on an epic scale, Mystic. I know this. I know we’re a disaster waiting to happen. But the alternative isn’t something I’m willing to consider.”
“Gage-”
“I can’t be without you,” he interrupted. “Tell me you can be without me?”
I couldn’t.
Chapter 12
Gage~
We walked out of the restroom, hand-in-hand, and just like we expected, everyone was staring at us as we exited. Some faces full of shock, some with knowing smirks, and some plain full of jealousy. As much as Mystic was perfect in my eyes, I knew girls were going to get catty and question our relationship, but it was my job to make sure everyone knew what she meant to me.
“I need to find Margot,” she murmured. “I need to tell her I’m sorry.”
I wanted to say to hell with everyone, but she was right. We did own Margot and Chance a better explanation of why we hadn’t told them. I wasn’t sure what Mystic was going to tell Margot, but I planned on telling Chance the truth. I had to because, truth be told, there was no way we’d be able to keep her abuse under wraps for very long.
And it was abuse.
Granted, it was consensual, but it was abuse, nonetheless. It didn’t matter if she begged for it. It didn’t matter that it drove me insane. Normal people would be looking for a way to remedy the sick cravings. Normal people would be meeting with a therapist three times a week to cure the unhealthy urges.
Me and Mystic?
We gave into the twisted yearnings. I went at her knowing I wouldn’t stop even if she asked me to and she gave herself to me knowing she’d never ask me to stop. We both knew better, yet, we both chose to ignore the dangers of such an addiction. The fucked-up thing about it, though, was that, even as I held her down and fucked her roughly, I was loving her the entire time.
I fucking loved Mystic Anderson.
With every bite mark, every bruise, every painful thrust into her body, I fucking loved her. And I knew my sickness was purely sexual because I didn’t feel the need to manhandle her outside the bedroom. Walking around this godforsaken party, looking for Margot, as I held her hand, I didn’t feel compelled to violence. I had no desire to be mean to her, belittle her, or ragdoll her. I only felt the compulsion when I wanted her sexually. And the more she let me debase her, the more I became addicted to her.
We eventually found Margot and Chance in the backyard near the