as best of friends as I would allow. You didn’t gamble with uncertainty. I knew Margot loved me to pieces, but would she still if she knew the real me? Highly unlikely, that. I wasn’t ignorant to the fact that people shied away from things they didn’t understand. They judged, even if they didn’t want to. The more people learned about what made you tick, the more skewed their perception of you became. It was natural to pick apart what you didn’t understand.
That was the reason there were so many anonymous chatrooms and secret clubs. People wanted to be able to purge their perversions, their anger, their contempt, their desires, etc. without being judged for it.
I was also lying through my teeth about college. Oh, it was true that I didn’t know what I wanted to do in life, but that wasn’t my only hang up. Like the rest of my secrets, there was another reason, known only to me, why I wasn’t in a hurry to apply to colleges and start that new phase of my life.
It was because I was pathetic.
I was pathetic, and do you know how hard it is to balance being independent but pathetic? It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t easy to have a handle on all aspects of your life but one.
The one that had the power to destroy everything else.
Chapter 4
Gage~
I walked into the house and saw the suitcases lingering in the foyer of our house that was way too big for just the three of us, but, you know, appearances and all, and that familiar pang in my chest shook my mental state like it always did.
Mom was going out of town on another psychiatric convention or whatever.
And that meant Dad was going to feed his demons and I was going to have to either watch or find somewhere else to stay for the weekend.
It was a no-brainer. I always stayed at Chance’s when I could.
“Oh, Gage, honey,” my mom rushed out as she came out of the living room and into the foyer. “I’m so glad football practice didn’t run over. I was hoping to see you before I left.”
I hitched my backpack up higher on my shoulder and raked my eyes over her luggage. “What’s all this?”
She shook her head and her face looked like it held the weight of the world on it. “I have an emergency in Toledo,” she replied. “A patient of mine was visiting family and, I’m still not sure what’s going on, but I got a call from one of their local hospitals claiming to have her on suicide watch.”
I listened to my mother and it was hard to tap down the hate I had for my father in this moment. Oh, the hate I felt for him was continuous, but some days it was stronger than others. Maureen Evans was a devoted wife, mother, and doctor, and my father ignored all of that by being a selfish prick. Yeah, I might be a coward, but my cowardice came from a good place. There was nothing good about Quinten Evans.
“How long will you be gone?”
She glanced at her watch before looking at me and doing her best to place a comforting smile on her face. She knew I got...restless whenever she went away. “I’m going to do my best to be back by Monday, Gage,” she answered.
It was only Thursday.
I said the only thing I could think of. “I’m sorry to hear about your patient.”
Her tentative smile turned into a genuine grin. “Thanks, honey,” she replied. “And I’m sorry I’m going to miss your game tomorrow night.”
I shrugged a shoulder. “It’s okay,” I assured her. “The season’s almost over and you’ve been to all the other games. It’s okay.”
Her phone pinged, and I watched as her fingers flew over the screen. Her dark blue eyes, the ones that matched mine, found me again as she said, “That’s the car service. I need to get going.”
I dropped my backpack on the floor and reached for her two bags. She gave me a grateful smile before turning to open the front door and walk out. I followed her in silence and a part of me wanted to beg her to stay. Not because I was in any danger, but because I was tired of lying to her.
I was tired of keeping my father’s secrets.
It was tiresome to have to hold on to his secrets as well as my own.
The driver got out of the car when he saw