sun,” he stopped when Sebastion chuckled, “I have never doubted.”
He closed his eyes and settled, ignoring the faint spasms of over-worked muscles and the ache in the bottoms of his feet. “Neither have I.” And though it might have seemed like it from time to time, he hoped Luca understood the absolute and profound truth of it.
He might want more, he might love more than just the two of them, but he had never doubted his ability to be happy, right there, with him.
Sebastion felt something on the air as he climbed out of bed the next morning. His body wasn’t as sore as he feared, and he only groaned a little when he had to bend over to dig sweats from his suitcase. The bathroom floor was heated, he assumed from Luca testing out all the features while Sebastion slept in, and it was nice on his feet as he emptied his bladder and brushed his teeth.
As he pulled his t-shirt on though, the quiet in the house felt a little bit too heavy. His anxiety started to rise up his spine as he made his way into the kitchen. He spied half a pot of coffee warming, and out the window over the sink, he saw Luca leaning on the porch railing as Ivy ran out all her morning energy.
There was something about his face—drawn and pensive—and for a moment Sebastion wanted to hide until it went away. They had just moved, just started getting back on their feet. He wasn’t ready for another shake-up.
But he also wasn’t the sort of spouse that was going to let his husband suffer alone, either. He took a moment to fix himself coffee before he stepped outside, taking a deep breath of the morning air that still held a faint tinge of cool on the breeze, though summer was creeping up fast. Luca’s shoulders stiffened a little when the door swung closed, but it was the only indication he gave that he knew Sebastion had come out to join him.
“She looks thrilled,” Sebastion said as he leaned on the porch railing. He glanced at Ivy, who was shaking around a stuffed caterpillar, then down at his coffee, which was pale brown from all the milk. “Do you want to tell me what’s going on?”
Luca turned his head to look at him, but instead of answering, he just slid his phone over on top of the banister, and Sebastion saw the long conversation between Luca and his best friend.
Todd: I ran into him yesterday on campus. I was leaving Mason’s office, and he was at the front desk. I think he was asking about you. Did you tell him you were the asshole with the phoenix tattoo?
Luca: No.
Todd: Well he knows now. He didn’t seem pissed. He looked like he was going to cry though. I told him Mason has his shit.
Luca: Did he say anything else?
Todd: He asked if you were mad at him.
Luca: Fuck.
Todd: Sounds about right.
Sebastion dragged a hand down his face, squeezing his eyes shut. He half-expected something like this to happen. It wasn’t at all a surprise to know that Xan had come back into town, that he’d run into Todd, that he now existed on the periphery of their life without reaching out.
And it hurt exactly as much as he expected it to.
And he was angry exactly the amount he expected to be, because they had just finally started to move on.
“What do we do?” Luca asked.
Sebastion studied his face for a long time, trying to decide what kind of answer his husband was looking for. The brutal one full of the honesty they both needed to respect? Or the one built up of their fantasy about what could be—what might be—and what would likely never be?
“You’re going to tell me nothing,” Luca said before Sebastion could open his mouth.
“And I’d be right,” he countered. He took a long drink of his coffee and waited for Luca to fill the silence, but he didn’t. “Tell me this isn’t going to ruin us.”
The hurt on Luca’s face filled Sebastion with regret all the way down to the core of him. “This isn’t about us. He isn’t here because of us.”
“I know,” Sebastion said quietly.
Luca pulled away from the railing and walked around his husband, taking the three stairs down in one leap. Sebastion watched him rummage through the little bin of dog toys before coming up with a rubber ball, and Ivy was instantly on alert. Waiting.
He