tighter with his thumb and finger and breathed out. “Uh, yeah. But only if he’s up for it.”
“He’ll be up for it,” Sebastion said with a small laugh. “Otherwise, he’ll want to keep you.”
Xan pretended like that wasn’t a stab in the heart, pretended like it wasn’t the one thing he wanted so desperately, he was damn-near willing to get down on his knees and beg. “How uh…how was your conference today?”
“Fine,” Sebastion said, sounding hesitant. “Alexander…did I say something wrong?”
He winced. This man he had never met face to face could read him so fucking well. Or maybe he was just that transparent. After all, Luca had known something was wrong from a single text about a dog-walker. And now he was there, in his home, filled with a longing for a life that didn’t belong to him.
“It’s not you. It’s been a rough couple of days. And I want to move out, but I’m scared.” The words came out, unchecked, but he couldn’t stop them. “I’m scared when I see Max again, he’ll convince me to stay.”
Sebastion was quiet a long moment. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course,” Xan said, because frankly he was willing to share anything at this point. He’d already stripped himself bare, and there was no point in trying to hide.
“Would you be willing to stay in our guest room until you can find a place? Luca can help you pack—we have friends who can move your things. We have the room and…and I know it’s not much help, but if you can get some space from him…”
When he trailed off, Xan curled into himself and turned his face so his cheek was pressed against the couch cushion. “I don’t want to be an imposition.”
“I wouldn’t have offered if you were,” Sebastion said. “And I know you wouldn’t have asked. Ever.” He breathed out a heavy sigh. “I’ve been where you are, and I know what it’s like.”
Xan couldn’t help a laugh, because he seriously doubted that Sebastion had ever been trapped in a failing engagement and being offered a place to stay by a married couple he wanted to know in ways that were most definitely not platonic.
“I know it sounds ridiculous,” Sebastion told him kindlier than he deserved, “but it’s true. My ex was…not a good person. In fact, he was probably the worst person I’ve ever met. I let my relationship with him go on way too long, and getting out was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I did it on my own, and if I could change anything in my past, it would be having someone to reach out to when I needed a soft place to land.”
Xan’s head felt heavy with indecision. He felt like turning Sebastion down would be spitting in his face, but saying yes meant subjecting himself to more of this emotional torture of wanting and never having. But he knew on some level Sebastion was right. He didn’t need to do this totally on his own. “Can I think about it?”
Sebastion let out a small breath, this time one that sounded like relief. “As long as you need. The offer is open. It’ll always be open.”
And it was with those words in his head that Xan curled up alone in the guest bed and managed something like sleep.
Now, as he lay there listening to Luca’s singing, he wondered if he really could call this home for a little while. It would likely take a few weeks to secure an apartment, and he’d endured Max for the last two years, so this would be a cake-walk. Then again, Sebastion was still gone, and Xan had no idea how he would feel when he was forced to live with watching Sebastion and Luca together. But, he supposed, it couldn’t be any worse than the cold, cruel indifference his so-called fiancé had been throwing at him.
Stretching his hands out in front of him, he stared at the ring, then gently pried it from his finger.
“Ex-fiancé,” he murmured, then winced. The words sounded all wrong and all right at the same time.
Rolling onto his side, he dropped the ring onto the nightstand with a soft clink. He stared at it a long while before pushing the blankets back, and he stood up to stretch. The guest room had a little half-bath, so he went in and washed his face, then emptied his bladder before hunting out his clothes. They were wrinkled from the bag, but he’d brought along