guy was nice and kind of effortlessly charming. Not the way Luca had been, but in a way that made him feel safe. In a way Max never had, and he tried not to let that hit him too hard.
“So, Alexander,” Cian said, cocking his head to the side and taking a long drink. He swiped his hand over his mouth, then set the glass down. “You come to this pub often on your British journey?”
Xan smiled and shook his head. “This is only the second time I’ve ventured out. I’m visiting with my cousin for a bit. She was just transferred to the London office.”
“You’re not talking about Allie,” Cian said, and Xan blinked.
“Uh, yeah.”
“You’re the poor fella she was talking about during the meeting,” he said with wide eyes.
Humiliation crawled up his neck, and he wanted to both run and hide—and also murder Allie, because how dare she. “Whatever she said, you know it’s probably all bullshit,” he muttered.
Cian laughed and leaned in a little close. “I certainly hope it’s not. Otherwise I’d be disappointed.”
Xan was still aching from the loss of Sebastion and Luca and aching from the pain Max had left behind, but he was not blind to the heat in Cian’s eyes. His stomach twisted in on itself, and he wasn’t sure what it meant because it didn’t exactly feel good, but it wasn’t terrible. Maybe it was just a sad, sorry, lonely need to be wanted by someone—even a total stranger.
“I’ve made you uncomfortable,” Cian said, his voice dropping in apology.
Xan waved him off. “It’s not you. It’s just been a rough couple of months.” He wanted to give the man something, but he sent a small prayer out into the void that he wouldn’t ask more.
It was granted, he thought, when Cian just tipped his glass toward him in the mimic of a cheers, then drank half down. “Fair enough. Have you gotten out at all? Seen all the sights?”
Xan snorted into his drink and shook his head. “God, no. I tried the tube once and had a damn panic attack from all the people.”
Cian’s eyes went soft where Xan expected low-key mockery. “Do you want company then? I wouldn’t mind playing wee guide for you. I’ve learned my way around.”
Feeling a blush rising in his cheeks, Xan found himself nodding without even thinking about it. “That could be nice, actually.”
With a grin, Cian sat back and pulled his phone out of his pocket. “How long are you here for?”
“Oh.” Xan glanced away and bit his lower lip, not sure what kind of answer to give. His truth invited more questions, and for just a little while, he didn’t want to be the guy all fucked up from his ex. “I’m taking a break from my degree right now, so I’m kind of running out the clock on my passport.”
Cian smiled, all teeth that looked sharp and predatory, but not in a way that frightened him. “That’s the best way to do it. My mam did my head in with her worry over whether or not I’d even show up to Uni if I took time off, so I never did. My fading youth regrets it now.”
Xan snorted a little and shook his head. “Your fading youth.”
“These came from somewhere,” Cian said, drifting a finger along the edge of his eye.
There was nothing there, but an unbidden image of both Luca and Sebastion rose to the surface of his mind, and he ached. And he missed them.
“Tell me, Alexander,” Cian began, and Xan flinched—startled at how wrong his name sounded on someone else’s lips.
“You can call me Xan,” he offered.
Cian’s smile widened. “Your cousin says you’ve been with us a while now. Is there a reason you’ve been living like a cave troll?”
Xan startled at how blunt the question was, but he was also startled by how something that would have been the cruelest insult coming from Max just…wasn’t. “I wasn’t supposed to be here,” he confessed, edging around the truth. “Shit got heavy, and Allie made the offer. I’ve been doing research for my thesis.”
Please don’t ask me about that either, he thought to himself.
Cian’s grin softened. “So, you’ll not mind if I make us plans?”
“Nope.” Xan finished off the last dredges of his pint and felt the alcohol settle in, a little warm and a lot comfortable. Knowing he could let loose and not turn his head and find his asshole ex felt strange—but in a good way. Progress, he thought.