work to find out if I was pregnant or not.
It was the longest two minutes of my life. It was even worse than my first Pap smear, which hadn't been fun at all.
At last, the clock showed that the two minutes were up. I had turned my back on the toilet so I wouldn't stare at it while I waited. As soon as I turned around, I saw two blue lines.
My legs went weak and I sagged against the wall.
The edges of my vision turned dark and I braced my hand against the opposite wall. I couldn't faint. If I passed out, I'd end up going to the hospital and then everyone would know what happened.
Deep breaths. I had to take deep breaths.
After a few inhale-exhales, my vision cleared. I reached out and nearly tossed the positive test in the trash, but something made me stop. Instead, I tucked it back in the box and put the box back in the bag. I left the stall, washed my hands, and went back out into the store, straight to the aisle that carried other pregnancy tests.
Even though the frugal spirit inside of me cringed, I grabbed three more tests, each a different brand, and carried them back up front.
The clerk looked bored as he rang me up and never looked up from the register. Which was good because if he had, he would have recognized me from ten minutes ago.
As soon as I got the other bag with three tests and the mile-long receipt, I went outside to my car. Once I was in the driver's seat, I knew exactly where I had to go and what I had to do.
Fifty-five minutes later, I turned into my parents' driveway and parked behind my mom's SUV. Dad was probably at the office since my oldest brother ran the physical portion of the landscaping business. After his heart attack, they told him he could do office work only during the hottest part of the summer because they would not be the ones to tell my mother that he'd overheated and keeled over.
He complained and moaned about it and probably drove the office manager, Joyce, insane during July and August, but he did it.
I was pretty sure he spent most of his time in his office playing solitaire or watching YouTube.
I knew Mom had the day off because she'd mentioned it during our phone call the night before. And right now, I really needed my mother.
I was frightened, worried, and I had no idea what I was going to do.
My mother was a dispatcher for the sheriff's department, so she knew how to keep calm in a crisis and get down to the most pertinent information. She'd also gotten pregnant with my oldest brother, Daniel, when she was younger than me. Granted she hadn't been in school then, or unmarried, but I was confident she would understand how I was feeling.
She always did.
She was always strict when I was growing up, making me toe the line. I always felt like my brothers got away with murder while I had to mind my manners, but I knew she only wanted what was best for me.
I only hoped that she would save her lecture on safe sex for later. I didn't think I could handle it right now.
By the time I climbed out of the car, bags in hand, she was already at the front door, a cup of coffee in her hand and a huge smile on her face.
Until I got close enough for her to see my face.
"Lee, baby, what's wrong?" she asked, stepping out of the doorway toward me.
I tried to smile, but knew I failed. "I need to talk to you about something and I need you to promise me that you'll listen and give me a hug before you start yelling, okay?"
My throat closed up and I sniffed the tears back as hard as I could.
"Oh, my God, honey, what happened?"
She put her coffee on the porch railing and grabbed me up into her arms. I rested my cheek against her chest just like I had when I was little and I'd scraped my knee or gotten a bad grade.
And I cried.
It didn't take long for me to cry it all out and when I did, she pulled back and wiped my cheek gently.
"Come inside and I'll make you a cup of tea. You can tell me what's got you so upset. No yelling, I promise."
I followed her into the cool