Not only for the reason that I did lose most of my baby fat, leaving me with curves, although in my opinion much too curvy curves. The fact of the matter is though, we’re adults now and my BFF can’t just go around punching people in the face willy-nilly.
“Oh for goodness sake, Lara.” I tisk at her now. “It’s not like we’re going to have sex right here out in the open.”
“Ha!” She barks a laugh. “The way you two have been acting all loved up lately, I wouldn’t be surprised if you did!”
“You do realise any public displays of affection are entirely your fault, Lara.” Callum pulls me close. “After all, you’re the one who introduced us.”
“What an awful mistake that was for the inner contents of my stomach.” Lara beams a big horrible grin.
It’s true though. Lara introduced me to Calum at college when we were all sixteen years of age. It was love at first sight. Well, who wouldn’t fall in instant love with the boy who every girl on campus desired? Callum works out. He’s always worked out and when he flexes his “guns” he means business. His biceps make me swoon, instantly activating my libido every time he shows them off.
“Come on now.” Lara looks at the time on her phone. “We’re going to be late for your fitting.”
Oh shit stains, I completely forgot I was supposed to try on bridal dresses at Lara’s shop tonight. I suppose that’s what happens when a certain sports bra squeezes the life out of your bosom and nearly gives one a heart attack.
“I think Emily needs to rest tonight, Lara.” Callum looks worriedly at me. “She just been to hospital because her chest—”
“And!” I blurt, cutting him off. “That’s not a big deal really!”
Lara frowns. “We’re you really at hospital, you daft cow?”
See, this is why I didn’t want Lara to know I was indeed at hospital. She’s always been quite over protective of me, but she’s also my harshest critic. She means well though, even if she blatantly calls me a hypochondriac at times.
“Let’s just go, I’ll be fine.” Pulling quickly out of Callum’s embrace, I move toward the pavement. My braless breasts start wobbling and I think better of it. “Right after I change.” Instead of walking away with Lara, I wrap my arms around my wayward bosoms and head into the house. If I’m going to be putting on another bra tonight I’m definitely going to make sure it’s a properly fitting one.
***
Lara has brought me to her bridal shop in the Greater Malvern shopping area up town. The moment we walk through the glass doors my vision is enveloped in pale gossamer.
“You’ve got a lot of new stock in, Lolz.” I say, using the nickname she hates. She doesn’t complain about me saying Lolz anymore, but I’m still going to keep referring to her thusly. It’s funny mimicking text speak for lol. Especially because Lara is the opposite of lol with her occasional attitude problem.
“It’s not just stock,” Lara reprimands me. “Unlike aubergines and sacks of potatoes by the kilo, these are exquisite gowns made of the finest silk.”
Wandering past hanging dresses I run my hands along the fabric. “Or for chavs, made of cotton?” The dress I’m touching doesn’t feel soft as silk.
“Don’t be silly.” Lara smacks my hand away. “Now, let’s get you fitted into your gear first.”
“My gear?”
Lara leads me to the back dressing and changing area of the shop where she recently had faux cashmere wallpaper installed. Not only do I always feel the need to touch all the soft gowns in store, but now I just have to run my hands along the furry, pale walls. It’s so pretty back here. In such sharp contrast to Lara’s dark rocker chick style when she’s not at work.
Suddenly, I spot something that gives me the creeps.
There’s a robot standing off to the side of the two changing rooms.
“You got a device from Oliver?”
Lara’s reply is muffed as she’s turned away from me, going through shelves of strange strappy pieces of nude coloured fabrics. “Yes I did. That little guy is massively helpful.” Dropping her supplies she strides over to the robot.
This particular model is shaped like a large wedding bell. It’s pristine white and there are fancy lace swirls all over the beeping machine.
“Watch this.” Lara presses the screen of her phone. “I can control it starting up with an app.”
The robot comes to life. I don’t know where it fit