expansive room. It’s so loud that I’m not sure anyone but Maddie even heard me. We’ve been working in relative silence save for the soft sound of music flowing from the kitchen behind us.
“We should go on a girls’ trip,” I offer up and look over my shoulder at Maddie. I shift in my seat and wait for her to look back at me.
“Hell yeah,” she answers without hesitation.
“What does the newlywed think?” Maddie asks Jules and instantly Jules brightens.
She shrugs, as if the word newlywed didn’t make her day and puts the attention back on me as she says, “I’m happy to do whatever you want, Kat.” Jules is holding back, and I can tell. I think it’s because she’s happy. Her life is renewed and she’s filled with nothing but happiness. And here I am, falling apart and stealing from her joy.
“You’re glowing,” I tell her and wait for a response, feeling guilty. My chest feels tight and I shift into a cross-legged position on the plush carpet and grab the plastic bottle of water, drinking it down slowly even though it’s room temperature now.
Maddie quirks an eyebrow. “You already make a baby?” she asks.
“Shut up,” Jules says playfully and then goes to the granite counter behind us and makes a show of drinking from her glass of wine. We exchange amused looks, waiting for her to reply.
“Not yet,” Jules finally answers.
“Yet!” Maddie practically shrieks. “First comes love, then comes marriage–”
“Then comes a new home and a fresh start,” Jules cuts her off and Sue laughs from her spot in the corner of the living room.
It’s grand and spacious and much more like Jules’ style. She got a deal on this home and the amount of space is making me regret buying a place so close to the park. It reminds me how tiny our townhouse is. At least compared to this.
But this is a family home, and I live in a townhouse that’s not meant for anything more than two people. I force my lips to stay in place and swallow down the frown and all the feelings threatening to come up.
I made this decision. I need to own up to it and deal with the consequences.
“I’m not sure I can do this girls’ trip,” Sue says and then chews the inside of her cheek. She braces herself on the chair before rising and picking up her wine glass. “I’ve got a new boss and he’s a dick with a capital D. There’s no way he’s going to give me time off.”
“It’s not really his position to give it to you,” Maddie says skeptically. “Like you earn your days. And we haven’t even set a date yet.” The defensiveness in Maddie’s voice catches me off guard.
Sue walks closer to us, a glass of wine in her right hand and a ball of packaging paper in her left. “He’ll give me shit.” She shrugs like it’s no big deal, but Maddie isn’t having it.
“So fuck him,” Maddie says, a little anger coming out. She doesn’t usually get worked up, so I’m taken aback.
“It’s fine, it was just a thought,” I offer up and try to smooth the tension flowing between the two of them.
“You okay?” I ask her and Maddie ignores me, picking up her wine glass filled with pinot grigio and throwing it back.
“I don’t want to set a bad precedent,” Sue says staring directly at Maddie, who refuses to look back at Suzette.
My gaze moves between the two of them and I’m only distracted by the loud clap behind me from Jules. “Who wants some cheese?” she says and we all turn slowly to see her lifting a tray of cut meats and cheese as if it’s the peace treaty between us.
Sue has the decency to laugh and the small moment of tension is immediately relieved.
I feel odd sitting in this room and unpacking all of Jules’ odds and ends. Looking around the room, I’m surrounded by friends, but I feel alone. I take another sip of water. It’s all in my head, I’m more than aware of that, but it doesn’t change how I feel.
Jules has a new life with a fresh start, but she’s afraid to be happy about it. Maybe that’s only because I’m here. She doesn’t want her new marriage to cause me any more pain. She’s sweet like that, but it only makes it hurt worse.
“Have you slept with him?” Jules asks me as she grabs a contraption from one of