now really trying to sit up.
Fredric stopped him again. “None of us knew. He couldn’t get ahold of anyone for answers, and they wouldn’t tell me anything at the front desk. I was waiting for about an hour before the doctor came out to let me know what was going on.”
“I’m going to fucking murder that little toddler,” Ilan started, but Fredric squeezed his wrist.
“You would have been on a flight too,” he pointed out, and Ilan deflated a little. “You would have been on a plane if he stubbed his toe.”
At that, Ilan let out a scratchy, sore laugh. “Oh…whatever. Fine. They’re not keeping me though. You know that, right?”
“I assumed as much. It’s just a broken arm, after all,” he added in a wry tone, though he didn’t much feel like joking.
Ilan was quiet, and Fredric wondered if he’d said something wrong until he spoke again. “If he’s coming…then we can tell him. Face to face.”
Fredric stilled. “Is that what you want?”
“That’s what I was coming over this morning to tell you,” Ilan said, and he managed to shift a little bit closer.
Fredric felt that like a blow to the gut, the reality of it stealing his breath for a moment. “I thought you wanted to end things.”
Ilan’s fingers twitched against his. “What? Why the hell…”
“You said we need to talk. I’m an old man, but I’m not that old. I know what those words mean.”
Ilan let out a strangled noise and used his weak grip on Fredric’s shoulder to tug him forward. There was too much in the way for a proper kiss, but they brushed lips and shared a sigh for a lingering moment. “I’m such a dickhead.”
“I won’t argue too hard about that,” Fredric said, but he was smiling. After a beat, he took another huge breath. “I wasn’t going to let you walk away.”
Ilan sucked in a short breath. “You weren’t?”
“After everything I’ve been through? After how hard I’ve fallen?” He gently released Ilan’s hand and lifted his own to the younger man’s face. His skin was clammy and a little cool and felt so perfect his heart swelled in his chest. “My darling,” he murmured and brushed lips against his temple. His back ached from bending over so far, but he’d hold this position as long as it meant not being more than a centimeter apart. “I am never, ever letting you go.”
Ilan didn’t put up a fight about going back to Fredric’s and even handed over his keys to Teddy after they got through the front door and into the bedroom. Fredric couldn’t stop fussing, but mostly because he knew the moment he was still, he was going to have to feel the full brunt of everything he’d been keeping at bay.
So, he got Ilan tucked into bed, and he made him put all his medications into the pen so Fredric could find them when Ilan needed another dose. He made sure the fridge was stocked with easy to cook foods, then checked all the linen closets for towels, and finally his first aid kit for extra bandages.
When he tried to change the pillows behind Ilan, the younger man finally grabbed him with his good arm and pulled him toward the bed. Fredric put up a superficial fight, but he sagged with relief as Ilan curled the uninjured side of his body around him.
“Listen, old man,” Ilan said, his lips moving against Fredric’s temple. “I am fine. They gave me the good shit, it was a clean break, and I’m not even dizzy.”
“Yes, but,” Fredric said, trying and failing to hide the tremor in his voice, “for the hour I was waiting to find out about all of that—it was so much more.”
“I know,” Ilan said, and Fredric supposed he did—in a sort of abstract way. He’d spent the last several years greeting the family of patients who were—just like him—sitting and dreaming up every worst-case scenario about a loved one. And Fredric knew that sometimes, for some people, the worst case was reality.
It had been for him, once, when he had his stroke. He’d woken up blind, unable to speak, unsure if he’d ever regain full cognition. He’d lost the foundation of his marriage in that one moment, and the confidence that he could be a good father to his children. He’d worked through it, but there were moments he wished he could turn back the clock.
Now that he was lying there in Ilan’s arms, feeling lips brush tender kisses along