Ilan’s breath caught in his throat as he imagined Fredric lying on his bed writhing and fucking himself. “But it’s different.”
“Yes,” Ilan said. His fingers stroked over Fredric’s tense knuckles. “And remember, we have all the time in the world. This isn’t going away tonight. Or tomorrow.”
“Or in ten minutes,” Fredric said, and he pushed the towel into Ilan’s hand before stepping out past him.
Ilan felt a rush, even as he grinned at Fredric’s sudden, bold move, and he threw everything aside and took his hand to draw him back into the bedroom. The heater was on, and the room was pleasantly warm with the windows shut and the fan off. Ilan pushed the door shut as they passed by it, then he carefully made his way to the bed with Fredric at his side.
“Lie down,” he said. “I’m going to get lube and a condom.” He wanted to lay Fredric out himself, to spread him out on the sheets and kiss every inch of his skin until the tension left him. But he knew if he dragged it out, one of them was going to lose their nerve.
He’d never set a lot of stock in anal, but this felt like more than sex. It was giving, it was taking. It was letting go of compromise and accepting that they could have pleasure without it costing anything. The moment held as much weight as their sex the night before. It felt just as important. Just as new.
A first.
He walked back into the bathroom for the lube and the little box that had three condoms left in the strip. What he wanted was to sink into Fredric bare, but he knew better. A single test after his last hook-up wasn’t enough, and PrEP or not, he wasn’t going to take any risks. Not with this man.
Turning back to the room, Ilan’s breath caught in his throat when he found Fredric lying on his back. His left arm was at his side, his legs crooked up with his heels digging into the bed. He had his right hand around his dick, and he was stroking slowly.
“Are you watching me?” Fredric asked, and Ilan smiled with just a hint of guilt.
“I was. I can’t help it. You’re so fucking beautiful.” He laid one knee on the bed, then dragged his free hand down the inside of Fredric’s thigh, unable to take his gaze away from the way he was fisting his cock. “I could watch this all day.”
“Someday,” Fredric said, his chest hitching on his exhale, his hips gently writhing, “I want you to lie here and pleasure yourself while I listen. I want to hear you make yourself come apart.”
Ilan’s eyes rolled back, and he fought down a groan as he pushed himself between Fredric’s spread legs. He dropped the lube and condoms off to the side, then dragged flat palms down Fredric’s thighs before pushing his hand out of the way and taking his dick in one hand, cupping his balls in the other.
“I will do anything you want,” he said, and he was startled at just how much he meant that in the moment. “Anything you ask.”
Fredric’s grin was a little feral, but he didn’t make any unreasonable demands. Instead, he reached down and pulled his legs up and exposed himself fully to Ilan. It was so much. He had to look away for a long second, then he pressed the pads of two fingers against his hole. It was tight, coarse with hair, clenching with anticipation. He stroked a gentle circle around it without any pressure, and he watched the way Fredric’s body responded to every single touch.
He looked like he was on the edge, and Ilan considered making him come first, but he knew Fredric had wanted to wait—to feel all of this, to try and reach that climax while he was full. With a gentle hand, he spread Fredric just a little bit farther, then he grabbed the lube and cracked the top with the side of his teeth. It killed him to let go of Fredric’s dick, but he poured out a generous amount and warmed it for as long as he could. Taking his slick, dripping middle finger, he held his breath, and pushed it inside.
The noise from Fredric sounded almost inhuman—raw, filled with a sort of agonized pleasure. His chest arched, and his left hand trembled and shook. Ilan couldn’t take his eyes off Fredric’s face, off the flush rising over his neck, off