what I’ve got to honestly ask myself is: was I secretly wanting that to happen?
If that’s the case, I need to stop and take a reality check. Because now that he’s defiantly, stubbornly, happily, ecstatically single, there’s actually even less chance of him being available than there was when he might just have turned out to be a reluctant groom who had nothing in common with his fiancée.
And right now, my mind is a blur of questions. But rather than seeing things more clearly, sitting here in a sun spot, watching a tiny fishing boat chugging across the turquoise water in the distance, all I’m feeling is horribly confused. And though I was soaring when I first realised, I now feel like I’ve crashed back down and my chest’s collapsed. All I know is that I don’t have to resign right now. In fact, if I did resign now it would look terrible.
But one thing’s for sure, I’m going to seize this chance to rewrite the rules so I can make sure in future my behaviour is beyond reproach. From now on, if Poppy or Ivy looks at me interacting with any client, all they’ll see is serious, dedicated, professional communication.
I push back my hair and re-cross my legs, being super-careful not to flash anything I shouldn’t, then clear my throat and prepare to launch my new initiative. ‘In any case, I’ve been thinking it would be useful to realign our working relationship.’
Nic’s squinting at me. ‘What’s this? Another thought from Thisbe?’
I keep my smile very serene. ‘Simply that as we move forwards from here it should be on a more professional footing.’
‘You mean you’ll be getting drunk less?’ He’s shaking his head. ‘Don’t feel you have to do that for me, Milla. If getting hammered is your style, I really don’t mind looking after you, since you seem to get results. I actually like it, it gives me a sense of purpose.’
I can feel my nostrils flaring, which is never a good look. ‘That’s the part I’m not comfortable with. It’s completely inappropriate.’ As for him enjoying it, that’s even worse. It makes me feel like a project.
He’s sending me a bemused stare. ‘Well someone’s got to do it. What happened? Have you had a visit from the fun police?’ He rubs his hands together. ‘I’m starving, how about we talk about this more over homemade pancakes at mine?’
I’m shaking my head. ‘That’s exactly what I’m trying to avoid, Nic.’
He’s staring up at the ceiling. ‘There could be whipped cream and banana with rum and orange?’
I swallow because my mouth’s watering so much. ‘I’d still rather not, thanks all the same.’
‘Damn, you’ve turned into Frisbee again.’ He narrows his eyes. ‘If it makes you feel better, we could talk about colours. Or groom’s suits. Or bridesmaids.’
‘Do you know how desperate you sound?’ I manage to bite my tongue before I call him Captain Kirk. Under any other circumstances, I’d be whooping at his enthusiasm, but somehow today I can’t. I feel like my heart’s been through the wringer … and the tumble drier too.
‘I’m not desperate, just hungry. And how about we borrow Merwyn so we can take him for a walk along the beach to work off the calories … and then we can talk about lanterns.’
‘Nic …’
‘What?’
He’d have had the old me at colours. But I’m not that easy anymore. ‘I’m flat out for the rest of this week getting ready for a last-minute wedding fair that’s coming up on Saturday.’
His eyes narrow. ‘A wedding fair – should I be going to that?’
I’ve no idea where his sudden interest has come from, but as it’s my first with Brides by the Sea and without Phoebe, I’ll need all my mind on the job. The last thing I want is Nic hanging around judging, or worse still, jinxing it.
I wrinkle my nose. ‘It’ll be more productive if you come to one where I’m more available to show you around and talk you through it all.’ I’m getting the hang of sounding kick-ass and serious. ‘So once we’ve got the cards sent out I suggest you look through all the information Poppy gave you, study your wedding file until you know it off by heart. And we’ll meet up again this time next week.’ I bite my tongue before I say, and smash it! ‘Is that okay with you?’
‘Sounds like it’ll have to be, Princess Milla.’ He sniffs and as he stands up he’s towering over me. ‘You’re the