sunlight. ‘We’re paring down the shortlist for our wedding day. My own Brides Go West wedding fair at the most talked-about new venue in the area was enough to tempt me away from the nursery and it’s certainly paid off – we’ll be making a booking before we go.’
The strangled choke coming from behind the pram has to be Ben. I’ve heard it too many times at too many venues not to recognise those first throes of an oncoming panic attack. And do you know what? All I feel is a rush of sheer relief that this time around I’m not the one trying to make him sign ‘I do’ on the deposit cheque.
I’m still smiling at Nic. ‘Well, good luck with that one, Phoebe.’ As for her, it’s a stunning venue, but other than it being bang on-trend, it’s not what she goes for at all. She’s much more of a wall-to-wall-marble-with-hot-and-cold-running-doormen kind of a person than a cart-shed-and-cow-parsley girl.
‘Which brings me round to the next topic.’ Phoebe’s pulling herself up to her full height, which is approximately seven feet ten. ‘What the hell are you wearing, Milla?’
‘Before you start, it’s not from Primark.’ If I tell her it came from St Aidan Cat Protection she may just expire on the spot.
Her eyes are flashing. ‘Truly, I’ve seen wrung-out dishcloths with more quality. You’re completely letting our corporate side down! How have you gone so far downhill so fast? Toenails on show too! That’s a complete betrayal of our brand.’
With every word I’m shrivelling in front of her. By the end I’m feeling slightly less significant than a worm. Then, in the distance, in the space beyond her elbow, I spot Poppy and Immie powering across the lawn. Nic’s grinning at me from the side. And suddenly I remember that I’m not on my own here. And I’m not the same, meek, do-as-I’m-told person that Phoebe used to batter down and boss around. Surrounded by good, loyal, supportive friends, who’d do anything to fight my corner, I’m strong. More than that, I feel loved. And the love of my friends isn’t just wrapping me up and protecting me, it’s making me powerful too. More important still, I don’t have to take Phoebe’s taunts. In the last three months, I’ve learned it’s okay to stand up for myself. One look at Immie – as wide as she’s tall, pumping the air with her hands, her short legs stomping – and my courage gets a reboot. Instead of diving for cover under the nearest rhubarb leaf, I’m re-inflating. And with no apparent input from me, I’m answering back, in Phoebe-speak too.
‘Our customer base has a very different vibe here, Phoebe. It’s more about the wind off the sea and the salt in our hair than ladies who lunch at other people’s expense.’ I have no idea where the hell that came from, but for the first time in my life I’ve thought on my feet. And you’ve no idea how good that feels.
Phoebe’s snort explodes from her nose. ‘I don’t give a damn if you’ve got sand blowing out of your ears, Milla, you look like the old woman who crawled out of the sea.’
Nic’s opening his mouth, but I’m too quick for him. ‘Forget what I’m wearing, Phoebe, at least I’m not trying to make myself look better than I am by undermining people. And unlike you, I try not to be mean or to bully people. And I won’t be letting you do that to me anymore.’
Phoebe’s never one to back off, and now she’s shouting so hard she’s spraying us with spit too. ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about, Milla. But what the hell’s with Brides Go Wild when it should be Brides Go West?’
Nic’s grinning at me. ‘See, I told you your new signage would get a reaction, Milly Vanilly.’
As Phoebe turns to Nic she looks like she’s about to eat his head. ‘For the last time, stop calling Milla those ridiculous names!’
I’m looking at her through narrowed eyes. ‘If there’s so much to criticise here, why not buy me out of Brides Go West and get the hell back to Bristol.’ I can’t actually believe I just said that, but now that I have, I feel so much better. And glancing down at the grass as I get my breath back, I’m handed another gift. ‘Is that mud on your Manolos?’
Phoebe’s hands are on her miniscule hips. ‘I don’t know where you got this