me. ‘Anyway, where’s your tame groom? Have you dared to let him off the leash?’
I laugh. ‘He’s gone to make a gimlet – under strict orders to drink his gin and stay well away from Bill.’ Ivy said Bill might be persuaded, but it’ll have to be at the right time, in the right way. ‘If Mr Trendell does a macho rush he could blow his chances forever.’
Poppy shakes her head. ‘Poor Nic.’
I have to say she’s wasting her sympathy. ‘There’s nothing poor about Nic. He’s first in line for the biggest pain-in-the-arse client of the year award.’ For a million reasons, not least being how hot he’s looking as I catch a glimpse of his slate grey eyes and dark stubble shadows over the bottle necks. And that’s despite me staying strictly alcohol-free tonight.
I’m aware how great it would be for me if the venue search ended here and now, which is why I’m ready to move heaven and earth to make it happen. I’ve also been thinking very hard about unrequited desire and fancying people you shouldn’t. I reckon what I’m suffering from with Nic is a raging hormonal crush linked to me being celibate for over a year now.
Obviously, with my heart truly pulverised and my life in ruins, I’ll be avoiding relationships like the plague for at least the next ten years, if not forever. But due to the human race being programmed to survive rather than die out every time someone gets cheated on, my libido still needs to flex now and again to keep in shape.
So whatever fake rushes I’m getting here, they’re simply my primal urges limbering up while my shattered emotions stay fully protected. My personal survival mechanism has kicked in by making sure I’m getting the flutters for the most unattainable individual in St Aidan, if not England. They don’t come any more out-of-reach than a groom fully besotted with his amazing bride-to-be. So it might be uncomfortable, and at times it might be agonising. But at least now I understand it I can dismiss it, knowing it will go away soon.
And to be fair, now I’ve found my explanation, I’m less disturbed and alarmed by the intensity of my physical reactions. Obviously, I’d give anything to make them stop, but at least I’m reassured that this isn’t about me being a bad person. I’m completely confident it will dematerialise when Nic gets married and the job ends. And if that thought momentarily makes my insides freeze, it’s just too bad.
I take a minute to admire the fabulous glass tables like the ones in the house, drop some viola flowers into my tumbler of special cordial, then peer into Poppy’s scarlet flute. ‘What are you going for?’
She reaches for a splash of fresh blackcurrant juice then tosses in a handful of red currants. ‘A bramble base with a raspberry gin echo and a pink stripy umbrella.’
As I’m here more as a spectator than to join in, I didn’t bother to look at the cordial label any further than it having a really pretty picture of dill and fennel. But whatever I’m drinking is so delicious it slips down really fast and I go straight back for the same again, but this time add raspberries and a mint leaf. As I only had a cheese muffin for dinner, I’m guessing my body craving the calories is why I’m feeling so thirsty. At the rate I’m knocking back the berries, I’ll have had my five a day in no time.
As for Nic, I’m keeping watch while staying far enough away to avoid any unnecessary shivers, and for now he’s safe with Rory and Bart. And Casper breezed past me earlier saying he’s just back from Indonesia and let’s connect later, which possibly explains his yellow shirt and why I never heard back from him about lunch.
It’s ages later when I finally get back to Poppy again. And despite eating my body weight in fruit garnish, I’m seriously starting to get hunger wobbles. I’m standing with Poppy by the massive floor-to-ceiling window at the beach end of the building, staring out at the trail of lights along the bay, when Ivy arrives too.
Her eyes are shining. ‘We’ve got lots of couples who are planning to use our gin in their wedding day cocktails, and loads more people have signed up to our mailing list.’ Her sleek bob is almost black in the gentle light as she flicks it behind her ear. ‘And one quick