it opened. Inside he revealed a silver zippo lighter and a pen with a hologram of a dinosaur on it. “The lighter is Kyan’s. He always played with it, even at ten years old. His family gave zero shits if he accidentally burned the world down I suppose. And Blake loved this stupid hologram pen. He brought it to every single fucking class once we started attending middle school together the following fall. I took these things hostage to ensure they never left me. They both beat me up to try and get them back, but they didn’t cut me off. We stayed friends and it became a running joke between us that I had their valued possessions locked away somewhere – they often liked to guess places like my haunted bell tower, the attic where I kept all the bodies of those who’d wronged me, or in a box made of human teeth. Hilarious as always,” he deadpanned. “Eventually, they gave up and told me to keep them.” A crease formed on his brow. “I guess a part of me thought they remained my friends because I had these items. Stupid really…but effective in the right circumstances.” He gestured to the letters and I gazed at him, hurting for the little boy who really thought his friends would leave him if he didn’t hold their prized possessions ransom. “I suppose what I’m trying to say is that I kept those letters to ensure you had to stay. But I don’t want to use them to make you remain with me anymore. I’d like, very much, if you chose to stay with all of us.”
I pushed the covers back, crawling into Saint's lap and pushing my fingers into his tight curls. "Why do you make it so hard for me to hate you these days?" I asked.
I swear I was breaking apart inside from that story. It was too real. To raw. And the honesty in his eyes made me think he really had changed when it came to me, that he was trying to let me see him as more than a devil with no heart.
"Maybe I don’t want you to hate me. So…will you?" he asked, his voice raspy. "Stay?"
I kissed him, having no answer but that one right now and I gasped as he kissed me back, leaning in rather than pulling away for once. His tongue pushed into my mouth and I moaned as he wrapped his hand in my hair, tugging tight to take control of the kiss. He explored my tongue with hungry movements and I tasted all the sins he'd ever committed and all those he was yet to. But more than that, I tasted that dark and stormy pain inside him which he concealed so well. I felt his hurt as I slid between the walls he confined himself within. I fell into him so deeply that I could sense all of his demons and I faced them down with all the strength I had, wanting to fight them for him and promise him he didn’t have to face them alone anymore.
His strong arms wrapped around my waist and I started to pant as I felt his hard length driving into my leg as I tried to get nearer to him. I could be consumed by the darkness in Saint, it was so potent it seemed to breathe down the back of my neck and push me closer to him. And I wanted it. I revelled in the way he drew me in and every atom in the room seemed to spark with the need to drive us close too, like the earth suddenly revolved around us instead of the sun.
Saint yanked my hair hard enough to break the kiss, his breaths coming heavily as he stared at me, tasting his lips. The rules no longer kept us apart. He could take this further if he wanted. And I could too. I wanted to so badly that a strained whimper escaped me. He leaned forward, not running away at last and my heart drummed out an exhilarated tune as I wondered if this was the moment he would let his guard fall for me at last.
His phone rang sharply on the nightstand and I jolted at the piercing sound. Saint released my hair with a growl, picking it up, his eyes returning to me as he pressed answer and held it to his ear.
"Father," he said curtly and I was suddenly totally