its own.
The only small mercy was that they’d used spray paint instead of human shit this time and I thanked all that was holy for that. I probably would have had to burn this place if they’d wiped their shit all over my walls.
Monroe frowned down at the floor, pointing out the muddy footprints and the way they seemed to have just circled the room to the spots where they’d plastered the graffiti before leaving again.
I wanted to demand to know which one of them had left the fucking Temple last so that I could lay blame at someone's feet for not locking the door, but I knew it was pointless. I was the reason that we'd all been out in that storm. It was on me.
My jaw was grinding and there was a vein throbbing at my temple as I fought against the desire to do more damage to the place than I had in my rampage earlier. What was the fucking point in preserving it now anyway?
"Saint?" Blake demanded, stepping in front of me and filling the space before me so that my view of the destruction was cut off. "We'll sort this out. You need to go and calm the fuck down before you end up on a killing spree tonight. Go play some piano or some shit, okay?"
I wanted to fight him on it, but I knew in my heart that I was barely holding on to my sanity as it was tonight so I just gave him a firm nod and turned away from the damage, catching Tatum's hand as I went and tugging her down the hall towards Kyan's room.
I drew her through to the bathroom and set the water running in the shower while she watched me with eyes that seemed to see too much.
"You need to warm up," I muttered, getting a pair of towels ready for her and then heading back through to Kyan's room to take one of his shirts for her to wear when she was done. It set off a tick in my jaw to think of her wearing it, but I needed as many reasons as I could come up with to stay away from her tonight or I knew I was going to cave into the temptation of her flesh.
It wasn't even like it had been earlier when lust and desire and anger had collided into something hot and carnal and desperate between us. No, right now I felt like the cracks in me were showing and for some reason I got the impression that if I just allowed myself to get lost in her, it would be that much easier to hold them all together.
But I couldn't do that. Even without the rules to bind me, I knew that if I gave into the desire I felt for her body while I was achy and broken and feral like this that it would be all too easy to let her become the reason I got myself together again. And I had never in my life relied on someone that heavily before. I absolutely wouldn't be doing it with a girl who had every reason to hate me.
It didn't matter if I longed to do it or not. That was just the weakness in me talking. The same weakness my father had worked tirelessly to remove from me. And I refused to ever admit that so much as a speck of it remained despite his best efforts.
I waited in Kyan's room, dripping on his carpet as my sodden sweatpants made me shiver. But I wasn't allowed to enter the bathroom while she was naked, that was one of her rules.
"Saint?" Tatum's voice called to me and I tried not to let the sound of my name on her lips do anything to thaw the cold that had set into my bones, but it warmed them a little all the same.
"I'm here," I said in flat tone, retreating so far into myself that I had no room at all left for rage or hate or any petty, human emotions that might cloud my judgement.
"I'm not naked. You can come back in."
I released a slow breath and moved back into the bathroom, finding her standing beneath the flow of hot water in the black underwear I was pawing at not so long ago when I almost lost control with her.
"Get in," she encouraged. "You must be frozen."
I wanted to tell her that I didn't follow anyone's commands and