ran a marathon in the space of a breath. “I can’t think about that now.”
“Why not?” Heath asked gently.
“Tomorrow’s the anniversary,” I said, “of Parker’s passing. So I sort of have… a routine for this day. I’m gonna visit his grave. I leave him a carving every year. I’ll figure out what to do with Brennan later.”
“Do you want company?” Blade asked.
“Yeah,” Coop agreed with a nod. “We’ll come with you.”
“All of us,” Priest said.
“Absolutely,” Jonah said.
Heath nodded, too, and then there were murmurs of agreement as the rest of the club members present said they’d come with me, too.
The tears prickling behind my eyes finally threatened to spill as my vision blurred. The relief and gratitude that flooded me nearly knocked me off-balance as Jonah knocked his shoulder against mine, and Gunnar clapped his hand on my shoulder. This is what family was. This unconditional support. They’d been ready to support me all along—I’d just had to build up the courage to ask for it.
I could only hope that Brennan would be willing to forgive me for my caginess, too—and that he’d react to the revelation as well as my club had.
“No, no,” I said with a small, watery smile. “I—I need to go alone this time. But I’ll take you there one day, if you want to go.”
“Of course we do,” Blade said.
“He was your brother, which makes him one of ours,” Priest said.
Any lingering doubts were washed away when Priest spoke. I struggled to speak around the tightness in my throat as I saw all my brothers-in-arms nod in agreement.
“Thank you,” I said, a little choked. “Really. Thank you.”
22
Brennan
I leaned heavily against my kitchen counter, sipping at my first cup of coffee of the day, even though it was close to ten in the morning. I hadn’t slept well the night before, tossing and turning restlessly in my big bed that still smelled faintly of Joker’s sweat and addictive cologne. My chest ached, and it wasn’t from the sleep deprivation. I just missed him. I missed him, I wanted to help him, but I couldn’t force him to accept that help.
And that powerlessness ached. Especially when I knew Joker was hurting, all alone, over something he wouldn’t share with me.
My phone started vibrating again on the counter. It’d been vibrating all morning, and I’d blown off most of the calls—it’d been numbers I didn’t know, or a few club members, and I just didn’t have the energy to talk work right now. Or worse, talk Joker.
But the caller ID caught my attention this time. It was Dante’s number, and my professional need to make sure that nothing was wrong at Stella’s outweighed my desire for privacy. So, with some hesitation, I picked up the phone.
“Hello?”
“Finally,” Heath said on the other end of the line.
Shit. Wasn’t even Dante. I couldn’t hang up on him now, though. “Hey, Heath. What’s up?”
“Can you call Joker?” he asked.
Cutting straight to the chase, then. I scrubbed my hand across my forehead. “Gotta say, I’m a little surprised to hear that from you. He lashes out at you more than he does anyone else.”
“That’s not what this is about,” Heath huffed. “Just call him.”
“I didn’t even think you liked him,” I admitted. “What’s going on?”
“Just trust me on this,” Heath said, his tone a little pushy but certain. “I know he’s been a dick, but he needs you.”
“If he needed me so badly, why’d he blow me off so hard yesterday?” I asked. “I gave him plenty of opportunities to accept my help. He didn’t want them.”
I wanted Joker to be the one calling me, asking to see me, not some member of his club.
“Do you care about him?” Heath asked. “Really?”
“Of course I do,” I said. “He should know that. I hoped all of you did.”
“Just get your ass to Lakewood Cemetery and be a supportive boyfriend, then,” Heath said. “Figure out everything else later.”
“The cemetery?” I asked, as cold realization rose in my chest. “Oh, no, Heath. Is this about…”
“His brother,” Heath finished for me. “Yeah. Today’s the anniversary of his passing away.”
Cold realization ran through me, and my heart sank. All the pieces suddenly clicked together. “I didn’t know,” I said weakly.
“None of us did,” Heath said with a sigh. “He didn’t tell anyone until now. Apparently, he’s just been memorializing the date alone all these years.”
“I asked him to go on a date today,” I said. “He agreed, and then changed his mind and flipped out when he realized