somehow he stops himself, giving me a wave. “If you need anything, I’m just a phone call away.”
More than anything, all of us know that now.
I ignore every single rule of the road as I speed home.
Home is still the clubhouse for us. Sooner or later, it’ll have to change, but for now we’re comfortable here. The only other car in the lot is Mandy’s, and immediately there’s a clench in my gut.
“Mandy!”
Like she can hear me as I enter. The dorm is down two hallways, and she’s probably got the damn door shut.
As I get closer, I see her. She’s standing in the doorway, holding on tightly to the door.
“Are you okay?”
She bites her lip, shaking her head. “I need you.”
With two huge steps I’m there, right in front of her. My arms immediately wrap around her waist, holding her tightly to me. “I’m here, babe, what the fuck’s happening?”
For long minutes she holds on tight. Tighter than she’s held on in a while. When she finally lets go, she moves her hand down my arm, over my wrist, and clasps our hands together. One thing I’ve learned about her, is that she doesn’t always have to talk. Sometimes she’s more open in the slight touches, or the looks she gives. She’s subtle, and I hate that I didn’t pick up on it until we’d almost been driven completely apart. She pulls me behind her into the bathroom, and then directs her gaze to the counter.
Lying there is a pregnancy test still in its box.
“Mandy? Do you think?”
She closes her eyes, nodding her head. “I know what’s it gonna say, D. It’s gonna say I’m pregnant. All the signs are there, but I’m scared. Fucking scared to death.”
It’s time.
Time for me to man up, and be the shoulder she’d needed me to be all the other times, when I’ve let her decide for herself what she needed. Today, right here, is the time for me to show her what I’ve learned about how to support her.
“Why do you know it’s going to say you’re pregnant?” Maybe if I allow her to say everything out loud and get irritated with me, it’ll force her to take the test, but it’ll be on her terms.
She rolls her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m late, five days late, and the only other times I’ve ever been late is when I’m pregnant. I’m tired, so tired I took a nap at lunch earlier this week. I didn’t tell anyone, but you know I’m only this tired when I’m pregnant. And my boobs hurt. I mean it almost killed me to put this bra on this morning. It literally hurt my nipples.”
My gaze immediately moves down to her chest, unconsciously I lick my lips.
“Dalton!”
“What?”
“Stop, now isn’t the time.”
I laugh, putting my arms around her, before lifting her up and walking us over to the counter. Sitting her down, I make room for myself in between her parted legs. This is one of my favorite places to be, honestly anywhere with her is one of my favorite places to be, but when she’s letting herself be vulnerable like this? I know how far she’s come in her recovery, and how far our relationship has built itself back up.
Leaning in, I put my forehead against hers.
“No matter what this test says, we’re solid. It doesn’t matter what happens this time babe, we’ve got it. If it’s the worst, we know how to help each other, if it’s the best, then we deserve it. There’s no reason to be scared of this.”
“But I am,” she whispers, the tears thick in her voice.
“That’s normal, but know I’m right here with you, and will be here for you every step of the way.”
She wraps her arms and legs around me, hugging me tightly in her embrace. Both fear and hope are legitimately radiating from her body. In a way I understand. I don’t want to get too hopeful, but we’re always told to tamp down the fear so it doesn’t win.
Hell of a position to be in.
Putting my forehead to hers, I move my hands up her body to cup her neck. “Take the test.”
“I know I should, but what if…?”
“What if it’s positive and what if in nine months, instead of holding you in my arms like this, we’re holding a baby?”
Her eyes open, bold sapphires, wide with wetness pooling in the depths. She’s got to be something, my Mandy is never this emotional. “You’re right.”