very long, because this fucking sucked.
My dad was gone, and with him, any chance of us reconciling. My siblings were packed into the house with me, and none of them had ever felt farther away than they did now. Aaron and Will were halfway across town, and I had never been so acutely aware of their absence.
And my God, I had never felt more alone in my life.
Thirty-Nine
Will
We need to talk about this.
All weekend, my conversation with Max had needled the back of my mind. Aaron and I had had ample opportunity to address it one-on-one, but I hadn’t been able to bring it up. Cowardice? Probably. Instead, we’d had a couple of low-key days to catch up on housework and yardwork. We’d spent a fair amount of that together, plus we’d eaten and hung out in the evenings together. But I just…couldn’t do it. Not yet.
We’ll talk about this when we’re all together again.
Except by the time Kelly had come over tonight, he was wrung out from the weekend with his awful siblings. He was in the mood to play so he could get rid of that lingering tension, but a difficult conversation? Maybe not.
We’ll talk about it after Kelly’s had a chance to shake off the weekend.
Yeah. I was a fucking coward.
I hated myself for it, but I kept finding reasons to avoid this difficult conversation. Max was right that we needed to address it before it festered, but I just couldn’t. And now that Kelly was here, now that I’d seen how badly he and Aaron both needed to play tonight, I’d convinced myself that it wouldn’t hurt to give them one night of submission and pain to center them and anchor them.
Sitting in the chair beside Aaron’s dresser, I folded my hands on top of my knee and watched Kelly fastening mean-looking clamps and clips in various places on Aaron’s skin. Aaron winced each time one settled into place, and Kelly grinned.
Normally, I’d be grinning too.
But I wasn’t.
I kept my expression as neutral as I could, hoping I came across as placid and observant. Except maybe I should hit the brakes. If I wasn’t focused, then I wasn’t doing my job as a Dom. They were depending on me. Aaron was in good hands with Kelly, but he still trusted that I was keeping watch, both for his safety and because he got off on me watching him.
I was focused enough to keep them safe. Focused enough to enjoy this? We’d see. But my submissives were safe, that much I could be sure of.
There was space between me and Aaron that I didn’t like. I was just overthinking it, though. We went through periods where we weren’t completely in sync, especially when stress was getting to one of us. When we both needed the catharsis and bonding of sex but were too physically and mentally wrung out to go through the motions.
So maybe this isn’t a good time for kink. Or Kelly.
But they both looked so into it as Kelly fastened Aaron’s bindings. They wanted this. They needed it.
I was overthinking everything because ever since Kelly had joined us, I’d been afraid of losing our equilibrium. Irrationally, that Aaron would leave me for Kelly. Perhaps more rationally, that having a third would pull our focus away from each other and let us drift apart without even realizing it.
Except we were still close. We still talked. We still had our lunch dates. We still had sex all the time whether Kelly was with us or not.
I rubbed my forehead and swallowed a curse. I was overthinking it. We were close to Kelly, and yes, that scared me a little, but it wasn’t a bad thing. Being this close to someone I was trusting to inflict pain on my husband? Uh, yeah, that was good.
“Will?”
I looked up, and Kelly was watching me. He gestured at Aaron, who was now blindfolded and bound on his knees. “We’re ready.”
Maybe you are.
But I got up and came toward him. I walked around Aaron, inspecting him from every angle. Kelly watched me, shifting from foot to foot as if he were nervous about my approval.
I tipped up Aaron’s chin. God, he was sexy like that—bound, blindfolded, with all kinds of plastic and metal implements biting into his skin the way he loved. “Do you have any idea how hot you are?”
He bit his lip.
My heart sped up, and it was a pleasant response this time. All my nervousness and worries suddenly seemed