way they did in that wedding portrait, and I’d remember where I really stood. I knew that was my place in their world. I’d never try to elbow my way in, pry them apart, take one of them for myself. The way they so obviously loved each other was amazing, and I couldn’t imagine wanting to interfere with that for any reason, never mind selfish ones.
I was their third. Their kinky play partner. Their friend with benefits. That was all I’d ever be, and I tried to hold on to that and tell myself it was enough. And sometimes, it was. It meant the world to me that Will had spent an entire Saturday helping me put together my studio. And whenever he pointed out the things he liked in my work, he didn’t sound patronizing. He didn’t just say “this is pretty”—he zeroed in on the technical aspects like the tones and values or the composition.
There’d even been that moment when he’d asked how I’d done something, and when I’d told him about the technique with the lamp chain, he genuinely seemed like he hadn’t heard of it before. Here was this professional artist with talent to burn, and he’d learned something from me. He hadn’t even tried to brush it off and pretend he already knew it, or downplay it as something that only novices and amateurs did.
And Aaron? God. When we talked one-on-one, he made me feel like I was the only person on the planet. Maybe that was just his personality. Maybe it was something he’d honed as a lawyer. Whatever. I liked the way I felt with him.
I could spend hours on end with either of them or both of them. I was happier with them than not. Whether we were getting kinky, having lunch at the coffee shop, lounging on the couch, cuddling like we were now… I loved it. I never wanted it to end.
Whenever they smiled at each other, my heart simultaneously melted and sank. They were adorable together. The thought of being with someone who still looked at me like that after twenty years together? God, it made me swoon.
But it kind of hurt too. Because they had each other. Where did that leave me?
I didn’t want to push them apart—I just couldn’t help wondering where I fit in.
Or if I fit in.
I was, for all intents and purposes, their fuck buddy. A friend, yes, but they’d brought me into the picture for an express reason, and that reason was to give Aaron what Will couldn’t. But beyond that one thing I could bring to the table, they had everything I’d fantasized about for years.
Closing my eyes, I sighed.
Do either of you have any idea how much I wish I could be more than just your fuck buddy?
I knew that wasn’t possible. That it wasn’t part of the deal.
But a guy could dream.
Thirty-Six
Will
I had four different projects that needed attention today, but I was too restless. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t even sit still, never mind concentrate on, well, anything.
Staring blankly at one of my equally blank computer monitors, I tried like hell to focus on…something. Anything. Well, anything except the one thing trying to pull my attention away from everything, but I was too much of a coward to look that in the eye. Once I did, I’d have some concentration back, but…no.
My fingers started aching. I glanced down, wondered how long I’d been turning the fidget spinner in my hand, and tossed it on my desk. Shaking out my tired hand, I kept staring at the monitor.
This wasn’t top drop. I didn’t think it was, anyway. Last night had gone fine, and after Kelly and I had taken care of Aaron, I’d eased myself down along with Kelly in the shower. It hadn’t been a seriously intense scene for me, and I’d come back to earth as gently as my subs had. I was fine.
But I wasn’t fine. I was worried. Like deep down, to the bone, hand-wringing worried. And whether I wanted to think about it or not, I couldn’t think about anything else.
The scene itself had gone fine. It was the conversation in the kitchen that bothered me. Aaron had worried we were getting too close to Kelly. I’d assured him we weren’t, but thinking back now, that was because I wasn’t. Because Kelly and I were close, but not too close, but if Aaron was worried…was he too close to him? Was there something else going